Tag Archives: parents

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Our Children need Our Time!

Our Children need Our Time!

We are all busy, and our jobs take us away from our families more than we care to share. We MUST make the decision to make our Children Our Priority when it comes to our time.

It is a challenge being a school administrator, a life coach and a Mom/Abuelita (GrandMom). Sometimes when I get home ALL I want to do is lay down and take a nap, however, I know that 1990 and 1994 seem like it was just yesterday and my girls are young women now. This all happened very quickly, but I am grateful that I h ad the Wisdom to make times for My Girls.

We MUST find time to spend with Our Children, what I do? Well, Honestly, it was not my idea, it just so happened this suggestion comes from the fact that My Girls ALWAYS followed me around when I got home. The Girls use to and still do lay in my bed as I am resting. We are talking, and sharing and I am resting! The BEST of both worlds.

Choose to find a way to spend time with Your Children regardless of what your day looks like.
Suggestion:
1. Have a game night.
2. Have a conversation hour while you cook, rest, use the bathroom (this happens to me ALL the time), or do your house chores.
3. Use driving time as sharing time.

The idea is to make your children KNOW that you really care and you will find time for Them!

Happy time sharing,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Child’s Life has Purpose

Your Child's Life has Purpose

When we were growing up, our adult care takers felt that children should be seeing and not heard. Many of us grew up knowing that getting into a conversation when grown ups were talking was a recipe for disaster in our part. Giving our opinion when we were being reprimanded was a serious no-no in our days.

However, now in 2013 we know that allowing our Children to express themselves is part of the norm. Clearly there should be boundaries as our children interact with others as well as ourselves. Your Child should ALWAYS address you with RESPECT! With that said, the bottom line is that our Children have a purpose.

As a Life Coach I recommend my parent clients to find it within themselves to consider a couple of thoughts:

1. Your Child is here for a Reason. Your Child’s Life has a Purpose.

2. Your Child has a story to tell. No matter the situation, even if you know what your course of action is going to be, allow your Child the opportunity to share their story. This will allow you to see how much insight your Child has gained from the particular situation in question. This will also allow you to be able to reflect in the conversation and determine how you can do better handling the situation the next time.

3. Every Child has a dream in their Heart. Listen to their dream and NEVER destroy their idea. GOD has placed dreams within each one of us and the dream is equipped with everything needed to bring it into fruition. Dare to Believe Your Child’s dreams and aspiration for themselves and support them.

4. You Child’s voice matters! Listen! Listen to understand! Choose to understand, and then, to be understood (Steve Covey).

5. Your Child was Born for Greatness! You need to verbalize this Truth to your child as often as Possible. “Your Child was Born to have an IMPACT in this world.

If you want a game plan on how to put these strategies into practice, email me: niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching Session.

Happy Purposeful Parenting,
Coach Arthur, Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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How to become the Parent you want to be:

How to become the Parent you want to be:

There are seven rules to follow to become the parent you want to be:

1. Decide you want to be a BETTER Parent to your children. It ALL begins with a thought!

2. Create boundaries – Your children should understand what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

3. Demand (strong word I know) Respect from your children! You are not your children’s friend, you are the parent. You MUST act like the parent.

4. Make TIME for your children. In order to do this parenting thing effectively, you are going to have to make a decision to be present for/with your children. Live in the MOMENT!

5. Decide in your mind that your Children Come FIRST! Make your Children your # 1 Priority!

6. Listen – Your children have a lot to say!

7. No Judgment – No matter what you hear, do not judge! Share your Wisdom, but allow space to hear the TRUTH!

Happy Parenting
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach

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NEWS FLASH: Teenagers, your parents do understand!!!!!

NEWS FLASH: Teenagers, your parents do understand!!!!!

Dear Teenagers:

I know you think your parents were born the way they are now!! However, I am here to tell you that we weren’t!

Your parents at one point were babies, then elementary school children, middle school children and the one that you will not believe, your parents were TEENAGERS! Seriously, your parents were your age once.

You have the power within you to tell your parents the Truth! Speak the truth to your parents even if your voice shakes. Stand in your truth.

Right now you are thinking:
Are you crazy?
My parents will never understand!!!
My parents will kill me!

Here is the thing, your parents do understand, as they themselves were teenagers, they are just in denial because they remember the things they did (I say this with no judgment).
Your parents are not going to kill you, you are by far one of their BIGGEST Investments and they need to make sure you are around to pay them back!

Make it a goal this week, tell your parents the truth, and you will see, they will understand!

Happy Truth Telling,

Coach Arthur

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I could not believe my ears!

I could believe my ears!

I could hardly believe my ears. I was standing in line at the CVS waiting to take my passport picture when I heard a man utter words that made me physically open my mouth wide. He was talking to a little girl who appeared to be a second to third grader (7 – 9 years old) .

It seemed he left her waiting in the line and for someone reason she got out of the line or allowed others to get in front of her. When he came back he gave her a tongue lashing that was hurtful. He was loud, he was mean, he was harsh, and he was condescending. The more he screamed insults, the smaller she physically became. I felt so bad for her. I wanted to tell him to stop, I wanted to tell her that he was hurting her and the pain was visible, but instead, I did what everyone else did. I stayed quite.

I get it! I am a Mom. Nie is 21 and Cat is 18. During those 22 years I have encountered a lot of challenging situations. I have been really upset, I have been disappointed, I have been heart broken, however, I have done my BEST not to break NieCat’s Spirit. You see, our words have an impact on our children.

The question are:

What type of impact do you want your words to have on your children?

Do you want to build them up?

Do you want to deem their life light?

As a parental coach, one of the main goals that I assist parents with is to think before they respond to an action or words their children say. Take a minute, feel the feeling your child generate within you, feel the words in your mind, but don’t verbalize them. Take a moment, then, speak!

Think before you speak!

Before you say anything in anger, ask yourself, how would you feel if someone else said those same words to you. How would you feel? How would you feel if your child’s teacher said those words to your child?

Think of your childhood! Then, behave accordingly!

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur

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The Four Agreements for Parents

The Four Agreements for Parents

The agreements you are about to read were taken from the book: “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.

There are Four Agreements that parents should follow when it comes to parenting:
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word.
2. Don’t take anything personal.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
4. Always do Your Best.

Be Impeccable with Your word:
I have addressed this issue before in other posts. Children really learn and do what we do, seldom they learn what we say. Being impeccable with your word teaches children to do the same. As parents we must follow through on what we say to our children. If you plan to go some where don’t tell your children until you are 100% sure you can go. If you give your child a consequence you MUST follow the consequence through. That is what teaches your children you mean business. Being impeccable with your word is what teaches children to be impeccable with their word.

Don’t take anything personally:
As a school administrator I have to tell parents this one all the time. When your child does something wrong, something that perhaps brings embarrassment to your family name, please get over yourself. Yes, I get it! I have been there and done that. However, the truth of the matter is that because your child stole candy from the store does not mean that you are a thief, or that your child sees you stealing (ideally your child should NEVER see you doing anything illegal).
Here is an example: I have made my bed everyday for the last 23 years ( that’s how long I have been a Mom). NieCat are aware of my bed making passion. As they were growing up, I always told them to make up their beds. Now at 22 and 18 they NEVER make up their bed. At first I considered myself a failure for not teaching them correctly, however, now following the Four Agreements, I don’t take it personally. Our children are their on persons, they came here to learn their own individual lessons and sometimes those lessons are independent of us.

Don’t Make Assumptions:
You children consider you their Hero. Don’t assume that because you have to give them consequences/punishments they will not like you or think less of you. Don’t assume that because your neighbors children look nice from the outside that they don’t have issues. Stop assuming your parenting skills are not adequate. Stop assuming period! When you assume you make the assumption about you and you MUST remember agreement #1, don’t take things personally.

Always Do Your Best
You can only do what you can do. You are doing the BEST parenting possible with the tools that you have. You are right where you need to be. There is a Higher Forth in your life directing your steps and finally, if you need direction, if you need someone to encourage you, support you and help you to establish parenting goals seek someone like me (shameless plug), seek a Parenting Life Coach. Everyone needs help once in awhile is okay to ask for it.

Think about these Four Agreements as you do your parenting from moment to moment and you will be on your way to parenting success!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur

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Parents have more POWER than they realize!

Parents have more POWER than they realize!

In addition to being a Life Coach I am also a school administrator, I have worked in the education system for 24 years now. For the last 15 years I have worked, well, really played  (I LOVE My Job) as a school administrator and I have heard a lot, however, there are things that still make me shake my head!

Example:
Having a beautiful girl tell me that her dad tells her she is a drama queen as she cries to him and tells him her sister is harassing/bullying at home broke my heart this week!

My partner in crime and I had to go into damage control attempting to make this dad’s statement less lethal to his daughter as she cried her little eyes out in my office. My partner in crime in her infinite wisdom told her, hey, don’t worry about it, guys are dumb! They don’t know what they are talking about! She then turns and ask me, isn’t that right? Me being the silly adult that I am had to stop myself from cracking up. Believe it or not, this lighten up the mood, The little girl  laughed and for a minute the tears were gone, however, the hurt was real.

As a school administrator there are things I just can’t say to parents, though sometimes I tell them more than I should, I actually have life coaching sessions with some of my parents FREE of charge, however, some issues are just so out of reach.Why doesn’t a Dad know that dismissing his little girl’s feelings are causing her damage? Does he realize the POWER of his words? We are going to assume that he cares and he wants to do BETTER! We are going to assume that if he could do BETTER he would do BETTER!

Parents, your words are SUPER Powerful! None of us should use our words in a negative manner towards our children or any children for that matter.

Is that possible?
Yes, it is!
All you have to do is think before you speak! When you are angry, don’t say anything! And if by chance you do say something to your child that would dim their GOD Light, just apologize and let them know that you won’t do it again!’

Please try hard not to use negative words towards your children!