Tag Archives: Teenagers

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LOVE begins at home!

LOVE begins at home!

How many times have you caught yourself being nicer to strangers than your own family?
As I coach teens one of the main concerns teens have is how they are treated by their parents compared to others.
I often have to remind parents that their teens were once their toddlers. Just because they are now weird and know it all doesn’t mean they do not need our LOVE and attention.
Sometimes is the way we speak to our teens that makes the difference. Our tone can make a difficult situation better or more challenging.
Consider bringing a soft tone to your voice, consider having Lovely thoughts when you call your teen’s name, consider treating you teen as if they were a guest in your home, but most importantly remember what it was to be a teen.

Teens need LOVE too,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
wwww.niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

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If you want change, You MUST change

If you want change, You MUST change

In my Life Coaching practice I have experienced many parents coming to me asking to help with their teenagers and their attitudes. The first question I ask? How do you react when the attitude begins? The answers to this question are very informative!

As Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, we tend to forget (the reason why we suffer) that we have Power & Dominion over our actions and reactions. I often have to write my clients vision statements reminding them of this very important point.
What does that mean?
That we have control on how we react to situations that are less than ideal with an attitude that can defuse the situation and make things BETTER.

When our teenagers give us attitude (not disrespect), the BEST way to handle it is pointing out the behavior to them, but most importantly, we MUST make sure that our attitude does not compare to theirs. The ONLY way we can teach our teenage children how to BEST handle their emotions, actions and reactions is by keeping our cool and having a handle on our words and deeds when we interact with them. We MUST become the change we want to see in our households!

Happy parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Don’t let it be too late!

Don't let it be too late!

We sometimes seem to put our LOVE Ones last on our Priority list, specially Our Children! We do not me to do so, it just happens and time just passes!”

It seems like it was just yesterday that I gave birth in 1994 and just a couple of years ago that it was 1990. Nie will be 23 years old next month and Cat will be 19 years old in December.
Where did the time go?

It is GREAT to hear them reminisce about their experiences growing up. Sometimes I am shocked of their perception of their childhood. What I enjoy most is their accounts of times that we had fun, or that made them laugh!

Here is what I learned from my experience of raising NieCat. Children will tell their growing up story through their eyes. In order to make sure your children’s growing up story is one that you enjoy hearing:
1. Put them first!
2. keep your word!
3. Make a sacrifice, give them your time and your talents because at the end of the day, your children are your legacy.

If you need assistance on how to make time for your children, contact me for a FREE 20 minute Parent Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com.

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Teens are people too!

Teens are people too!

Parents, if after reading this sign, you feel as if you have a teenager who feels like this at home, I can help!!!!!

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Helping Navigate the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 3

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 3

Teenagers now a days look totally different than we did when we were teenagers (I was a teenager in the 80’s). My Father’s worth issues with me was the fact that I wanted to wear mini-skirts to school, I want to an ALL girl school for goodness sake!!!!! My experience as the Mom of a Teenager is totally different, I have to deal with tattoos, piercing, jeans with holes and other issues I never thought of wearing or doing to my body back in the days.

Sometimes our Teenagers bring friends over who are EXTREMELY interesting looking to say the least! As a parent, what you want to do is tell your child, “stop hanging out with that weird looking kid!” However, lesson number 3 teaches a different way of looking at it.

You need to approach every friend your teenage has with an open mind. Talk to them, ask questions, see where their head is. Open your mind and over look the green, purple, blue hear. Ignore the piercing in the eyebrow, nose, lip and the many, many, many tattles ALL over the place. Listen with your heart.

What are you listening for, is the kid well-mannered? Parents are always telling me that the Cat in NieCat is such a well mannered young lady, and inside I smile and I always say “Thank You GOD! It would be sad if a parent didn’t give her a chance because she has a piercing in her nose (be still my heart).

Listen to what your Teenager say about Her/His Friends. Remember, they consider their friends an extension of them. Thread lightly! Don’t be judgmental. Don’t criticize!!!!!!

If your inner self tells you to address an issue of drugs, skipping school, cursing in your house (a Teenager has to be extremely bold to do this), then, you MUST address this issue with your teenager. If you suspect drugs, you will need more than just a Life Coach, you will need therapy and counseling.

Keep in mind:
1. Being Honest and Candid with your Teenager is the way to go.
2. No judgment!
3 .Remember when you were a teenager!
4. Seek outside help if the situation is one you can’t handle and if there are drugs involved in the friendship.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, http://www.niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

“Open Your Mind before You open your mouth!” 🙂

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 2

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 2

Last week I took My Daughter, The Cat in NieCat to her Freshman College Orientation. There we were parents and children together. As I looked around, there was one thing “visibly” evident in this orientation. About 90% of these Freshmen were on their cellular devices, including Cat.
When they were talking about financial aid, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked her to put her phone down and I swear she looked like I asked her to go to bed without dinner or walk home from the orientation.

This is the topic of our 2nd Lesson, according to http://www.webmd.com/parenting/teen the actual devices that keep our teens connected are the same devices that keep them away from us – their families. The article actually suggests that taking our teens’ electronic devices can be considered unkind. “Being networked with their friends is critical to most teens,” says Dr. Stuart Goldman, director of psychiatric education at Children’s Hospital in Boston.

As a Teen Life Coach, I agree with the article in the sense that if your teen is doing the right thing, i.e. school (their main responsibility), chores, being respectful, and most importantly not being withdrawn from the family, then, yes, the electronic devices should stay.

However, if your teen is not following through with your expectations, then, I suggest that taking away the cellular device, lap top, games and anything else they consider their life lines is perfectly acceptable.

Suggestions:
1. Have your teen pay for their cellular phone.
2. Phones must be turned off at least an hour before bed time.
3. No computer in the room.
4. Place parents control on the computers and laptops.
5. No phone usage during dinner time or family time.
6. No phone usage during the drive home from school.

The cellular phone is a battle that us teen parents should really not participate in unless is absolutely necessary. Unless of course our rules/regulations/expectations are not being met.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 1

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life

For those of us who have experienced teen years and have survived, we must be honest and say that having a teenagers is no walk in the park. As a matter of fact, Dr. Stuart Goldman, director of psychiatric education at Children’s Hospital in Boston says, “Adolescence is a time of rapid change for kids both physically and cognitively,” he explains. “It’s the task of the teenager to fire their parents and then re-hire them years later, but as consultants rather than managers.”

All Teenage parents MUST come to terms with the fact that your relationship with your teen will not be the same as it was pre-teen years. All of a sudden, you as a parent will know nothing, your word will mean nothing and friends will come to be the BEST advisors in the world. One of your teenager’s job is to have conflict with you! With that being said there are a couple of rules that MUST be put in place to navigate this time that has the ingredients of potentially becoming a challenging time.

Remember the time when your child wanted you to come along on the field trips and the class parties? Well, as teens, those times will be no more. Internally, your teen knows they need you however, they can’t seem to understand what they are feeling.
That is when you have to be the BIGGER person, and show LOVE!
Be there for your Teen.
Whenever they are ready to talk, you have to be there.
You can’t act as they do or this will make matters worse.
This type of behavior will begin getting better by 16 or 17.
You MuST be patient, and supportive!
Your teen will come to you when ready, and your job is to be there with open arms.
Whenever your teen wants to talk, you must be there with no-judgment! Challenging, but doable!

Having a teen that is mean or says bad words to you or tells you she/he hates you is another ball of wax!
Other professionals will tell you to handle this with tolerance, however, I take another approach!
You are the PARENT!
You are the ruler of your house!
You MUST be very stern in handling this behavior!
It MUST be understood that this is not acceptable in your home!!!!!
Your child can’t curse at you!
Your Child can’t scream at you!
This is unacceptable behavior and MUST be stopped!
Saying bad words in front of you is something that you can’t tolerate!
RESPECT MUST be evident at ALL times!
This means that you also have to respect your Teen!

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com