Tag Archives: parents

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What are you saying?

What are you saying?

What are you saying to your children?
What type of words are you using when you are speaking to them?

My Dearest Father taught me many lessons in life. there are two very important lessons which helped me parent effectively. The first lesson he taught me was how to speak to my children. I lived with my Dad and my Step-Mother from the time I was 12 years old until the time I left to college at 18. In ALL those years living in Brooklyn, New York I NEVER, EVER heard my Dad say a bad word, NEVER! No matter how angry he was (I really don’t remember My Dad being angry to be honest with you), he never cursed, and he definitely never used bad words when speaking to my step-brother, step-sisters or myself never.

The second lesson I learned from my Dad is NEVER to speak negatively to my children’s dreams. No matter what I told him he never put the idea down and he never criticized the idea. He did have a lot of wisdom and shared the pros and the cons about my ideas, but ultimately I made the decisions.

When we speak to our children, there is no need to use bad words, there is no need to put our children down.

Be kind to your children, remember, The manner in which you are speaking to your children is teaching them a couple of things, they are learning from you how to treat others, how to speak to others, and how worthy they are but most importantly, they are learning from you how to be parents one day!

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Our Children came from us but they are not us!

Our Children came from us but they are not us!

Don’t cut your child’s wings because of your dreams and aspirations. Your dreams are yours. Their dreams are theirs! As parents we are here to Guide, Cultivate & Support their dreams!

The Late Rev. Dr. Mary A. Tumpkin taught me many things during the 20 years that she was my Spiritual Teacher. One of the lessons that I received, and understood without much studying was: My two girls, Nie and Cat came from me but they are not mine. GOD sent them here for a reason; GOD put within them EVERYTHING they needed in order to fulfill their Destiny. GOD has a plan for them and I have no right to tell them who they should become.

I guided them into activities and they selected the activities which made their Hearts soar. Nie is an actress by birth. Is in her blood, and though a lot of people would disagree with their child following an acting career, my thought was, that is what makes her happy.

Cat is a speaker, a writer, a spinner. She might be a lawyer, she might be a writer, she might be a journalist, she might be an activist, she might even be a Politian. These are things I see in her, but never will I influence her (only guide) on who she will be in life.

Parents, it is not our job to divert our children’s dreams. Our job is to guide them, to show them their options, and ultimately, only our children can make that the decision.

Parenting with Wisdom,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your “I Am” becomes Your Children’s “I Am”

I believe that what we call ourselves has a direct correlation on what we call our children!”

As an educator for the last 25 years I have come across many children who had very low self-esteem. Once I met their parents I realized that there was a direct correlation on how parents view themselves and how they view their children.

Most parents want more for their children than what they have experienced in their lives. There is however, a vital ingredient that some parents miss. Our children listen to us very carefully; when our children are toddlers they learn to speak by the words we use. What we attach to “I Am” becomes what our children will learn. When we say, I Am sick, I Am broke, I Am tired, those are the beginning of our children’s road map to who they are.

We need to choose differently! We need to add positive words to our “I Am.” We are doing this for our children and for ourselves. I am Victorious, I am Faithful, I am Peaceful, I Am Honest, I Am GOD in action, I am wise with my money, I am happy, I am LOVED, I am appreciated, I am right where I need to be. When our children hear those types of words attached to our I Am, they have no choice than to imitate these words.

When we speak to our children, we MUST never say bad words. Yes, I know life gets in the way and life becomes a challenge, but life is a one day at a time journey, one moment at a time. There is no need to curse at our children. That goes against the reason why they are here. Our children are here so that we can assists them in becoming the BEST they can be. That is our duty.

Do not call your children names! Treat your children as the biblical characters treated their children. We are to Bless our children! We are to Bestowed our GREAT words and ideas upon our children.

Having children is one of the Biggest Blessings GOD has Bestowed upon us. We MUST make sure we raise our children with respect, LOVE and a BIG dose of Self-Esteem.

Parenting is a Blessing,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Don’t let it be too late!

Don't let it be too late!

We sometimes seem to put our LOVE Ones last on our Priority list, specially Our Children! We do not me to do so, it just happens and time just passes!”

It seems like it was just yesterday that I gave birth in 1994 and just a couple of years ago that it was 1990. Nie will be 23 years old next month and Cat will be 19 years old in December.
Where did the time go?

It is GREAT to hear them reminisce about their experiences growing up. Sometimes I am shocked of their perception of their childhood. What I enjoy most is their accounts of times that we had fun, or that made them laugh!

Here is what I learned from my experience of raising NieCat. Children will tell their growing up story through their eyes. In order to make sure your children’s growing up story is one that you enjoy hearing:
1. Put them first!
2. keep your word!
3. Make a sacrifice, give them your time and your talents because at the end of the day, your children are your legacy.

If you need assistance on how to make time for your children, contact me for a FREE 20 minute Parent Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com.

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 4

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 4

Teens live in a state of Drama!

The first blog I wrote I named it “Adults forgetting their teenage years.” I want to refer to this article as we explore the 4th lesson our Teens teach us. Often time we become successful adults and totally forget what we said, did, listened and experience when we were 13 – 19. Please think of those days as you read this lesson.

Many times our Teens come to us to tell us their saga, the first responses we murmur sound something like this: “that is nothing!” “don’t worry about it,” “that is nothing to worry about,” “leave those friends alone.” “you are better than him/her, forget them,” These and other responses we give our Teens really discourage them.

If you remember correctly part of being a Teen is feeling things intensely, in other words what you may seem like no big deal to you is hugely important to your Teen. If you continue disregarding their feelings, they will stop talking to you and that is the one thing you DO NOT want!

I often tell parents who I coach to remember that they MUST listen to their Teens challenges intensely. Remember that they are feeling their feelings, they are honoring their feelings and you MUST do the same. You should feel Blessed that your Teen is sharing with you, please do not destroy this trust!
How would you feel if you called your best friend to say you were loosing your home to foreclosure and your friend dismissed you and told you not to worry, then, your friend proceeds to tell you that your issue is silly and it will go away! How would that make you feel?

When your Teen comes to you with their challenges/problems/drama here are some suggestions:
1.Listen
2. Do not give advice.
3. Do not put their friends down.
4. Do not dismiss or minimize their problem!
5. Listen
6 Sympathize
7. Look at the situation as you were a teenager.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Kyan’s Kause

Kyan's Kause

There are times in our lives that the experience of others grab you and does not let you go. As I write this I try to hold back my tears because when I think of the experience the Quintana-Cedeno family has endured is TOTALLY overwhelming to my heart! GOD doesn’t give you more than you can stand, and when you go through your life lessons, the BEST thing to do is to grow and become an agent of change. The Quintana-Cedeno family is an Exceptional example on how we can take a life tragedy and turn it into a Blessing to others. Below you have Kyan’s story. I have taken excerpts from his Facebook page and am sharing it with you. I hope that you can share his story with others so that we can save our Babies, our toddlers!

Saving Lives… One Little Swimmer at a Time.
June 9, 2013 marked our hearts forever. God called upon our beloved Kyan to become a little angel in heaven. It is because of this that Kyan’s Kause was created in order to prevent any other tragedies.

As we gather our thoughts for the night, we are so happy that a Facebook goal that we thought would take several weeks, was reached this evening. We wanted to honor our son by reaching 1000 Facebook members for Kyan’s Kause by his 3rd Birthday on June 30th. To our surprise, thanks to you and your love for our little boy, today June 19th, our precious baby’s Kause reached well over 1100 members and growing. Because of you, we continue to spread water safety awareness on behalf of our son. Please continue to fuel our drive to save other children by sharing our site. Throughout the next few days we will be posting Kyan’s Kause progress with its plans to circulate our vision throughout South Florida.

We are celebrating Kyan’s Life on his birthday weekend by bringing awareness to water safety the only way we know how, by having lots of fun. We will be celebrating with water slides, food, music, games, and activities for parents and kids of all ages. There will be plenty of vendors and items on display as we will be fundraising all for Kyan’s Kause. We are asking everyone to bring a new bathing suit for boys/girls in sizes 2-10 as Kyan’s birthday gift to be donated to the S.W.I.M.S. Foundation. We also wanted everyone to wear red as it is Kyan’s favorite color. Please make sure to bring your beach chairs and bathing suits to enjoy the day and celebrate with family and friends for a great Kause. We look forward to seeing all of you with us this weekend at Bridgepoint Preparatory, 12001 Sunset Drive, Miami, Florida 33183

Please support His Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kyans-Kause as well as the foundation, http://www.swimsfoundation.org.

Let’s keep our Babies/Toddlers Safe,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Our Children need Our Time!

Our Children need Our Time!

We are all busy, and our jobs take us away from our families more than we care to share. We MUST make the decision to make our Children Our Priority when it comes to our time.

It is a challenge being a school administrator, a life coach and a Mom/Abuelita (GrandMom). Sometimes when I get home ALL I want to do is lay down and take a nap, however, I know that 1990 and 1994 seem like it was just yesterday and my girls are young women now. This all happened very quickly, but I am grateful that I h ad the Wisdom to make times for My Girls.

We MUST find time to spend with Our Children, what I do? Well, Honestly, it was not my idea, it just so happened this suggestion comes from the fact that My Girls ALWAYS followed me around when I got home. The Girls use to and still do lay in my bed as I am resting. We are talking, and sharing and I am resting! The BEST of both worlds.

Choose to find a way to spend time with Your Children regardless of what your day looks like.
Suggestion:
1. Have a game night.
2. Have a conversation hour while you cook, rest, use the bathroom (this happens to me ALL the time), or do your house chores.
3. Use driving time as sharing time.

The idea is to make your children KNOW that you really care and you will find time for Them!

Happy time sharing,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com