When you know BETTER you do BETTER!
The MOST important job we have as parents does not come with directions. It is no secret that parenting is by far one of the most difficult jobs a parent will encounter. Luckily, nowadays there are may venus and outlets one can utilize to assist with child-rearing!
One of the strategies can be hiring a therapist, looking on line for helpful parenting websites, reading books about parenting or hiring someone like myself, a life coach for parents and teens.
To this end, I am always reading and I found a very interesting article in onetoughjob.org which shared some very interesting strategies for parents who experienced their children pushing their buttons. These are strategies I have recommended to my own clients and they are are worth sharing.
The same child who have brought you joy, love and proud moments can also make you feel as if you are going to loose it, when you experience these moments, there are strategies which will assist in making the situation better or assist in moving forward.
Some strategies to use when you are loosing it:
If in fact you have lost your temper with your child, please, forgive yourself! That is the first step to fix the problem. Once you have forgiven yourself, then, you can have a conversation with your child and apologize. Verbalize your feelings and admit that you did not handle the situation properly. Believe it or not, this will be a life lesson for your child.
You are not alone:
You are not the first parent who have lost your temper or have worked very hard not to loose your temper. Unfortunately we as a society do not speak about our weakness, but we all have them. You are not the first parent whose child has done something wrong or embarrassing. Do not judge yourself so harshly, Remember, your child is here to go through his/her own journey. Be gently with yourself!
View their actions as a way to communicate:
At times our children do not know how to express their emotions. At times, their actions appear to be bizarre to us, but if you open the lines of communication you will see there is a reason for the behavior. You just need to ask without judgment! Try your BEST to always find out where your child is coming from. Ask a lot of why questions, and be patient enough to wait for the answer.
There are many parenting groups that will support you through tough times, hiring a Life Coach for parents like myself will also benefit your journey into better parenting. Having someone who can relieve you of your parenting duties while you take a deep breath or go out is also an excellent idea.
Understand your response:
Sometimes it is difficult to stop and count before reacting. Before spanking, yelling, calling your child names, Stop! Stop and think of what is going to happen next. Do a quick self assessment and take a deep breath. Once that angry moment has passed, you will be able to think and speak more clearly. Remember, your intention is NOT to hurt your child’s feelings!
Be on the same page with your Co-Parent:
A child must feel as routines are a way of life. Both parents must demonstrate a united front when it comes to parenting. Your child will see if there are any fragile areas in your parenting and will divide and conquer.
This is not one of the strategies in the article, but I believe that being consistent will allow you to be a better parent. If you say it, then, you must do it! It is important that your child knows, understands, but most importantly believe that if you say it, you mean it!
If you need someone who will assist you with your parenting skills or your teens’ ability to handle life effectively, email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching session, firstname.lastname@example.org
Certified Professional Life Coach