The agreements you are about to read were taken from the book: “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
There are Four Agreements that parents should follow when it comes to parenting:
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word.
2. Don’t take anything personal.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
4. Always do Your Best.
Be Impeccable with Your word:
I have addressed this issue before in other posts. Children really learn and do what we do, seldom they learn what we say. Being impeccable with your word teaches children to do the same. As parents we must follow through on what we say to our children. If you plan to go some where don’t tell your children until you are 100% sure you can go. If you give your child a consequence you MUST follow the consequence through. That is what teaches your children you mean business. Being impeccable with your word is what teaches children to be impeccable with their word.
Don’t take anything personally:
As a school administrator I have to tell parents this one all the time. When your child does something wrong, something that perhaps brings embarrassment to your family name, please get over yourself. Yes, I get it! I have been there and done that. However, the truth of the matter is that because your child stole candy from the store does not mean that you are a thief, or that your child sees you stealing (ideally your child should NEVER see you doing anything illegal).
Here is an example: I have made my bed everyday for the last 23 years ( that’s how long I have been a Mom). NieCat are aware of my bed making passion. As they were growing up, I always told them to make up their beds. Now at 22 and 18 they NEVER make up their bed. At first I considered myself a failure for not teaching them correctly, however, now following the Four Agreements, I don’t take it personally. Our children are their on persons, they came here to learn their own individual lessons and sometimes those lessons are independent of us.
Don’t Make Assumptions:
You children consider you their Hero. Don’t assume that because you have to give them consequences/punishments they will not like you or think less of you. Don’t assume that because your neighbors children look nice from the outside that they don’t have issues. Stop assuming your parenting skills are not adequate. Stop assuming period! When you assume you make the assumption about you and you MUST remember agreement #1, don’t take things personally.
Always Do Your Best
You can only do what you can do. You are doing the BEST parenting possible with the tools that you have. You are right where you need to be. There is a Higher Forth in your life directing your steps and finally, if you need direction, if you need someone to encourage you, support you and help you to establish parenting goals seek someone like me (shameless plug), seek a Parenting Life Coach. Everyone needs help once in awhile is okay to ask for it.
Think about these Four Agreements as you do your parenting from moment to moment and you will be on your way to parenting success!