Category Archives: Children

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What are you saying?

What are you saying?

What are you saying to your children?
What type of words are you using when you are speaking to them?

My Dearest Father taught me many lessons in life. there are two very important lessons which helped me parent effectively. The first lesson he taught me was how to speak to my children. I lived with my Dad and my Step-Mother from the time I was 12 years old until the time I left to college at 18. In ALL those years living in Brooklyn, New York I NEVER, EVER heard my Dad say a bad word, NEVER! No matter how angry he was (I really don’t remember My Dad being angry to be honest with you), he never cursed, and he definitely never used bad words when speaking to my step-brother, step-sisters or myself never.

The second lesson I learned from my Dad is NEVER to speak negatively to my children’s dreams. No matter what I told him he never put the idea down and he never criticized the idea. He did have a lot of wisdom and shared the pros and the cons about my ideas, but ultimately I made the decisions.

When we speak to our children, there is no need to use bad words, there is no need to put our children down.

Be kind to your children, remember, The manner in which you are speaking to your children is teaching them a couple of things, they are learning from you how to treat others, how to speak to others, and how worthy they are but most importantly, they are learning from you how to be parents one day!

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Our Children came from us but they are not us!

Our Children came from us but they are not us!

Don’t cut your child’s wings because of your dreams and aspirations. Your dreams are yours. Their dreams are theirs! As parents we are here to Guide, Cultivate & Support their dreams!

The Late Rev. Dr. Mary A. Tumpkin taught me many things during the 20 years that she was my Spiritual Teacher. One of the lessons that I received, and understood without much studying was: My two girls, Nie and Cat came from me but they are not mine. GOD sent them here for a reason; GOD put within them EVERYTHING they needed in order to fulfill their Destiny. GOD has a plan for them and I have no right to tell them who they should become.

I guided them into activities and they selected the activities which made their Hearts soar. Nie is an actress by birth. Is in her blood, and though a lot of people would disagree with their child following an acting career, my thought was, that is what makes her happy.

Cat is a speaker, a writer, a spinner. She might be a lawyer, she might be a writer, she might be a journalist, she might be an activist, she might even be a Politian. These are things I see in her, but never will I influence her (only guide) on who she will be in life.

Parents, it is not our job to divert our children’s dreams. Our job is to guide them, to show them their options, and ultimately, only our children can make that the decision.

Parenting with Wisdom,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Listen to your child speak.

Listen to your child speak.

Being a school administrator gives me a GREAT opportunity to listen to what happens in others’ households.

I am tickled pink to hear children tell exactly what happens at home as I notice the discomfort of parents as they know that what they are hearing is inappropriate but TRUE!

Parents, if you think that what you are doing, saying or the way you are acting in front of your children would make you feel embarrassed if others hear you, or are told the story by your children, then, please, consider not doing it, saying it or acting in that manner.

Your children are learning from you!

Gone are the days that you can say to your child:
“Do as I say and not as I do!”
That command worked on us, but it will not work on our children!

You are your child’s first role model!

Working at being an example,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your “I Am” becomes Your Children’s “I Am”

I believe that what we call ourselves has a direct correlation on what we call our children!”

As an educator for the last 25 years I have come across many children who had very low self-esteem. Once I met their parents I realized that there was a direct correlation on how parents view themselves and how they view their children.

Most parents want more for their children than what they have experienced in their lives. There is however, a vital ingredient that some parents miss. Our children listen to us very carefully; when our children are toddlers they learn to speak by the words we use. What we attach to “I Am” becomes what our children will learn. When we say, I Am sick, I Am broke, I Am tired, those are the beginning of our children’s road map to who they are.

We need to choose differently! We need to add positive words to our “I Am.” We are doing this for our children and for ourselves. I am Victorious, I am Faithful, I am Peaceful, I Am Honest, I Am GOD in action, I am wise with my money, I am happy, I am LOVED, I am appreciated, I am right where I need to be. When our children hear those types of words attached to our I Am, they have no choice than to imitate these words.

When we speak to our children, we MUST never say bad words. Yes, I know life gets in the way and life becomes a challenge, but life is a one day at a time journey, one moment at a time. There is no need to curse at our children. That goes against the reason why they are here. Our children are here so that we can assists them in becoming the BEST they can be. That is our duty.

Do not call your children names! Treat your children as the biblical characters treated their children. We are to Bless our children! We are to Bestowed our GREAT words and ideas upon our children.

Having children is one of the Biggest Blessings GOD has Bestowed upon us. We MUST make sure we raise our children with respect, LOVE and a BIG dose of Self-Esteem.

Parenting is a Blessing,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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I Am a Helicopter Mom & Proud of it!

I Am a Helicopter Mom & Proud of it!

I have been a Helicopter Mom for the last 23 years.
What is a Helicopter Mom You ask?
A Helicopter Mom is a Mom who doesn’t leave their Child’s Life to chance. A Mom who knows what is going on with Her Child and intervenes when ever necessary for the betterment of Her Child.

Last year I was told that as my Baby Girl turned 18 that I had to let go! I did! What do I think of that move? Mistake!!!!!!!!
I am in total disagreement with stopping the Helicopter Mom Life style. I disagree 100% with the fact that the colleges do not allow parents to know anything about Their Child’s college information but MUST write the checks.

Here is my rationale, if We continue being a Helicopter Parent until Our Children graduate college the possibility of them returning home decreases tremendously.

That’s my take on it. What do you think?

Sincerely,
Helicopter Mom
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Don’t let it be too late!

Don't let it be too late!

We sometimes seem to put our LOVE Ones last on our Priority list, specially Our Children! We do not me to do so, it just happens and time just passes!”

It seems like it was just yesterday that I gave birth in 1994 and just a couple of years ago that it was 1990. Nie will be 23 years old next month and Cat will be 19 years old in December.
Where did the time go?

It is GREAT to hear them reminisce about their experiences growing up. Sometimes I am shocked of their perception of their childhood. What I enjoy most is their accounts of times that we had fun, or that made them laugh!

Here is what I learned from my experience of raising NieCat. Children will tell their growing up story through their eyes. In order to make sure your children’s growing up story is one that you enjoy hearing:
1. Put them first!
2. keep your word!
3. Make a sacrifice, give them your time and your talents because at the end of the day, your children are your legacy.

If you need assistance on how to make time for your children, contact me for a FREE 20 minute Parent Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com.

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Teens are people too!

Teens are people too!

Parents, if after reading this sign, you feel as if you have a teenager who feels like this at home, I can help!!!!!

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Helping Navigate the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com