Category Archives: Children

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Life Coaching Session

In this TV show, Coach Arthur introduces herself, shares the meaning of Life Coaching and conducts a true life coaching session

Enjoy!

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Thoughts are things!

Thoughts are things!

I can’t say enough about the book “Ask and It Is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks!

I have read this book twice and the second time has literally opened a whole new world for and to me!

I have learned that if I am continuously mindful of how I am feeling within, I can literally stop myself from thinking thoughts that will serve no purpose in my life.
I learned that feeling my feelings is the easiest way to gauge what I am thinking. If I notice that I am not feeling at peace, calm in a state of well-being, all I have to do is think about what I am thinking about and change my thoughts immediately.

A very important question I have learned to ask myself is:
What is the purpose of having thoughts that will not enhance my life?
The answer to this question is one of the lessons this book has taught me.

An example:
I LOVE thinking of different scenarios where I tell someone how I feel about what I am experiencing or how I feel about what they did to me.
Well, I no longer do that, or should I say, I stop myself from doing that now!
I learned that this thinking process is a total waste of time!
After all, the Bible tells me that the words will come to me exactly when I need them.

Knowing that my feelings are a guiding tool/gauge to control my thoughts is the BEST lesson I have learned thus far in 2014.

If you are interested in knowing how to train your thoughts, by learning how your feelings can teach you the value of the thoughts you are having, email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching session!

Feeling my feelings and guiding my thoughts,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Ways to avoid loosing it!

Ways to avoid loosing it!

When you know BETTER you do BETTER!
The MOST important job we have as parents does not come with directions. It is no secret that parenting is by far one of the most difficult jobs a parent will encounter. Luckily, nowadays there are may venus and outlets one can utilize to assist with child-rearing!
One of the strategies can be hiring a therapist, looking on line for helpful parenting websites, reading books about parenting or hiring someone like myself, a life coach for parents and teens.
To this end, I am always reading and I found a very interesting article in onetoughjob.org which shared some very interesting strategies for parents who experienced their children pushing their buttons. These are strategies I have recommended to my own clients and they are are worth sharing.

The same child who have brought you joy, love and proud moments can also make you feel as if you are going to loose it, when you experience these moments, there are strategies which will assist in making the situation better or assist in moving forward.
Some strategies to use when you are loosing it:

Forgive Yourself:
If in fact you have lost your temper with your child, please, forgive yourself! That is the first step to fix the problem. Once you have forgiven yourself, then, you can have a conversation with your child and apologize. Verbalize your feelings and admit that you did not handle the situation properly. Believe it or not, this will be a life lesson for your child.

You are not alone:
You are not the first parent who have lost your temper or have worked very hard not to loose your temper. Unfortunately we as a society do not speak about our weakness, but we all have them. You are not the first parent whose child has done something wrong or embarrassing. Do not judge yourself so harshly, Remember, your child is here to go through his/her own journey. Be gently with yourself!

View their actions as a way to communicate:
At times our children do not know how to express their emotions. At times, their actions appear to be bizarre to us, but if you open the lines of communication you will see there is a reason for the behavior. You just need to ask without judgment! Try your BEST to always find out where your child is coming from. Ask a lot of why questions, and be patient enough to wait for the answer.

Seek Support:
There are many parenting groups that will support you through tough times, hiring a Life Coach for parents like myself will also benefit your journey into better parenting. Having someone who can relieve you of your parenting duties while you take a deep breath or go out is also an excellent idea.

Understand your response:
Sometimes it is difficult to stop and count before reacting. Before spanking, yelling, calling your child names, Stop! Stop and think of what is going to happen next. Do a quick self assessment and take a deep breath. Once that angry moment has passed, you will be able to think and speak more clearly. Remember, your intention is NOT to hurt your child’s feelings!

Be on the same page with your Co-Parent:
A child must feel as routines are a way of life. Both parents must demonstrate a united front when it comes to parenting. Your child will see if there are any fragile areas in your parenting and will divide and conquer.

Be consistent:
This is not one of the strategies in the article, but I believe that being consistent will allow you to be a better parent. If you say it, then, you must do it! It is important that your child knows, understands, but most importantly believe that if you say it, you mean it!

If you need someone who will assist you with your parenting skills or your teens’ ability to handle life effectively, email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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LOVE begins at home!

LOVE begins at home!

How many times have you caught yourself being nicer to strangers than your own family?
As I coach teens one of the main concerns teens have is how they are treated by their parents compared to others.
I often have to remind parents that their teens were once their toddlers. Just because they are now weird and know it all doesn’t mean they do not need our LOVE and attention.
Sometimes is the way we speak to our teens that makes the difference. Our tone can make a difficult situation better or more challenging.
Consider bringing a soft tone to your voice, consider having Lovely thoughts when you call your teen’s name, consider treating you teen as if they were a guest in your home, but most importantly remember what it was to be a teen.

Teens need LOVE too,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
wwww.niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

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Parenting Teens – to be their friend or to be their parent

Parenting Teens -  to be their friend or to be their parent

On Monday, January 6, 2014 I was part of a radio interview in Tallahassee, Florida and Valdosta, Georgia.
I was featured as a Certified Professional Life Coach answering questions about teen parenting, and addressing the question of being a friend to your teens.

Please listen & enjoy!

Click here to listen…

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach

Children MUST have Responsibilities at home!

Children MUST have Responsibilities!

One day before CHRISTmas a lot of us are going crazy shopping and giving our children EVERYTHING they want.

How do I feel about this practice?
I feel parents my age from 40 to 55 tried too hard to please our children, including me. You see, we we wanted to give our children what we did not have, and what we have done is created a generation who feel they deserve everything they want. At first it was cute, but now that our children are becoming young adults we are seeing that perhaps this was not such a good idea.

Our children need responsibilities and they need discipline, and it is not too late. They MUST earn what they receive from us parents just as we earned everything we wanted and needed as we grew up in the 60’s 70’s and 80’s.

I have a lot of clients that do not like me saying this, but the reason why our young adults are the way they are is because of us. If your children are not 18 – 30, and you are having a hard time getting them out of your house, you are still supporting them after they finished college, if you are still giving them allowance, we have no one to blame but ourselves.
The beauty of it is that is not too late!
You can decide in 2014 to allow them to take responsibility for their own lives!
They have to be responsible for the actions and the consequences their actions create!
We MUST stop bailing them out!

Choosing differently,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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If you want change, You MUST change

If you want change, You MUST change

In my Life Coaching practice I have experienced many parents coming to me asking to help with their teenagers and their attitudes. The first question I ask? How do you react when the attitude begins? The answers to this question are very informative!

As Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, we tend to forget (the reason why we suffer) that we have Power & Dominion over our actions and reactions. I often have to write my clients vision statements reminding them of this very important point.
What does that mean?
That we have control on how we react to situations that are less than ideal with an attitude that can defuse the situation and make things BETTER.

When our teenagers give us attitude (not disrespect), the BEST way to handle it is pointing out the behavior to them, but most importantly, we MUST make sure that our attitude does not compare to theirs. The ONLY way we can teach our teenage children how to BEST handle their emotions, actions and reactions is by keeping our cool and having a handle on our words and deeds when we interact with them. We MUST become the change we want to see in our households!

Happy parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com