Tag Archives: parenting

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Words have Power, use them Wisely

Words have Power, use them Wisely

I find this picture very appropriate for today’s message. For those of us who are visual learners, the lesson is in the picture. As parents sometimes we are clueless of the impact our words have on our children. Calling our children names should be a practice that needs to stop the moment you read this blog if this is something you practice. I know sometimes you can’t understand why your children do the things they do. Trust me, I know! I have been at this for 23 years, however, regardless of what you feel you, what your children did or said, you MUST NEVER call your children derogatory name.

Your words have Power! Use your words to bestow Blessings upon your children. There is a reason why you find more than one parent Bestowing Blessings upon their children in the Old Testament.
We also have that Power in 2013.

Bless your children, bestow Blessings upon them daily, but most importantly, please, please, please don’t call them names.

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Parenting Life Coach

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It ALL Begins & Ends in Your Mind!

It ALL Begins & Ends in Your Mind!

One of the most difficult and rewarding jobs we can have during our earth existence is being a parent. That being said, there are no manuals for this GREAT Task.

I submit to you that if we begin parenting with the thought that parenting begins and ends in our minds, we will accomplish more successful encounters with our children.

If you give Power to following thoughts: I am a good parent, I am patient with my children, I am understanding of the life my children lead when they are in school, I am firm but LOVING to my children, I discipline my Children with respect, I LOVE my children. I know these qualities will take over your life once you allow them into your mind.

Think about it, what if you woke up tomorrow with the above thoughts, plus the thought of having a GREAT weekend with your children in-spite of whatever happened tonight!?

Try it!

It all begins and ends in Your mind. What you give Power to, has Power over You, if you allow it!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Parent/Teen Life Coach

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NEWS FLASH: Teenagers, your parents do understand!!!!!

NEWS FLASH: Teenagers, your parents do understand!!!!!

Dear Teenagers:

I know you think your parents were born the way they are now!! However, I am here to tell you that we weren’t!

Your parents at one point were babies, then elementary school children, middle school children and the one that you will not believe, your parents were TEENAGERS! Seriously, your parents were your age once.

You have the power within you to tell your parents the Truth! Speak the truth to your parents even if your voice shakes. Stand in your truth.

Right now you are thinking:
Are you crazy?
My parents will never understand!!!
My parents will kill me!

Here is the thing, your parents do understand, as they themselves were teenagers, they are just in denial because they remember the things they did (I say this with no judgment).
Your parents are not going to kill you, you are by far one of their BIGGEST Investments and they need to make sure you are around to pay them back!

Make it a goal this week, tell your parents the truth, and you will see, they will understand!

Happy Truth Telling,

Coach Arthur

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What if?

What if?

Sometimes our children can try our patience and our resolve to be the BEST Parents we can be!
What if we stop concentrating on what is going wrong?

What if we make it our goal to believe in our parenting skills?

What if we have confidence and trust our parental know how?

What if we have Faith in our parental instincts?

What if we believe that we are good parents so much that the Universe/GOD/The Creator has no choice but to materialize our beliefs?

What if?

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur

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The Four Agreements for Parents

The Four Agreements for Parents

The agreements you are about to read were taken from the book: “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.

There are Four Agreements that parents should follow when it comes to parenting:
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word.
2. Don’t take anything personal.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
4. Always do Your Best.

Be Impeccable with Your word:
I have addressed this issue before in other posts. Children really learn and do what we do, seldom they learn what we say. Being impeccable with your word teaches children to do the same. As parents we must follow through on what we say to our children. If you plan to go some where don’t tell your children until you are 100% sure you can go. If you give your child a consequence you MUST follow the consequence through. That is what teaches your children you mean business. Being impeccable with your word is what teaches children to be impeccable with their word.

Don’t take anything personally:
As a school administrator I have to tell parents this one all the time. When your child does something wrong, something that perhaps brings embarrassment to your family name, please get over yourself. Yes, I get it! I have been there and done that. However, the truth of the matter is that because your child stole candy from the store does not mean that you are a thief, or that your child sees you stealing (ideally your child should NEVER see you doing anything illegal).
Here is an example: I have made my bed everyday for the last 23 years ( that’s how long I have been a Mom). NieCat are aware of my bed making passion. As they were growing up, I always told them to make up their beds. Now at 22 and 18 they NEVER make up their bed. At first I considered myself a failure for not teaching them correctly, however, now following the Four Agreements, I don’t take it personally. Our children are their on persons, they came here to learn their own individual lessons and sometimes those lessons are independent of us.

Don’t Make Assumptions:
You children consider you their Hero. Don’t assume that because you have to give them consequences/punishments they will not like you or think less of you. Don’t assume that because your neighbors children look nice from the outside that they don’t have issues. Stop assuming your parenting skills are not adequate. Stop assuming period! When you assume you make the assumption about you and you MUST remember agreement #1, don’t take things personally.

Always Do Your Best
You can only do what you can do. You are doing the BEST parenting possible with the tools that you have. You are right where you need to be. There is a Higher Forth in your life directing your steps and finally, if you need direction, if you need someone to encourage you, support you and help you to establish parenting goals seek someone like me (shameless plug), seek a Parenting Life Coach. Everyone needs help once in awhile is okay to ask for it.

Think about these Four Agreements as you do your parenting from moment to moment and you will be on your way to parenting success!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur

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Gratefulness is the way to go!

Gratefulness is the way to go!

Parents, you would be surprised how powerful the sense of being grateful!

As the children are in the peak of your nerves, stop what you are doing for a second and think of how Grateful you are about an aspect of your life that has to do with your children. Example: I am Grateful that my children will be sleep soon! Lol
A grateful thought like that will even give you a good laugh!
No matter what you are going through, if you can just remember (the reason why we suffer is because we forget) to think a grateful thought life will be immediately BETTER! Try it, you will like it!

Coach Arthur

Life Is a Thought Thing! Coach Arthur

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Parents have more POWER than they realize!

Parents have more POWER than they realize!

In addition to being a Life Coach I am also a school administrator, I have worked in the education system for 24 years now. For the last 15 years I have worked, well, really played  (I LOVE My Job) as a school administrator and I have heard a lot, however, there are things that still make me shake my head!

Example:
Having a beautiful girl tell me that her dad tells her she is a drama queen as she cries to him and tells him her sister is harassing/bullying at home broke my heart this week!

My partner in crime and I had to go into damage control attempting to make this dad’s statement less lethal to his daughter as she cried her little eyes out in my office. My partner in crime in her infinite wisdom told her, hey, don’t worry about it, guys are dumb! They don’t know what they are talking about! She then turns and ask me, isn’t that right? Me being the silly adult that I am had to stop myself from cracking up. Believe it or not, this lighten up the mood, The little girl  laughed and for a minute the tears were gone, however, the hurt was real.

As a school administrator there are things I just can’t say to parents, though sometimes I tell them more than I should, I actually have life coaching sessions with some of my parents FREE of charge, however, some issues are just so out of reach.Why doesn’t a Dad know that dismissing his little girl’s feelings are causing her damage? Does he realize the POWER of his words? We are going to assume that he cares and he wants to do BETTER! We are going to assume that if he could do BETTER he would do BETTER!

Parents, your words are SUPER Powerful! None of us should use our words in a negative manner towards our children or any children for that matter.

Is that possible?
Yes, it is!
All you have to do is think before you speak! When you are angry, don’t say anything! And if by chance you do say something to your child that would dim their GOD Light, just apologize and let them know that you won’t do it again!’

Please try hard not to use negative words towards your children!

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Words Have Power!

Words Have Power!

When you read this caption think of your children!

Are you happy with the manner in which you spoke to them today?

Forty-Days of a Peace Youth Symposium

peace-on-earth-islamOn Saturday, My Sorority (Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc.) had the Honor of hosting the 40 days of Peace Youth Symposium. We had over 300 individuals attend and many of them were young people.

We had a panel of experts speak to the young people. We had a pastor/professor/major of a city in Miami,  a Chief of Police for a local community college, a community college professor, a mother who after her child was murdered started  RJT Foundation, Inc.
“Women Supporting Families of Murdered Children” (please check out her website: www.rjtfoundation.com), and a pastor.

I listened as intently as I could possibly listen under the stress of thinking that I myself had to go up on stage at the end and also speak. One thing that I heard said time and time again is what I want to share here. I am sharing it because I heard this message over and over again, last week in different venues so I know I MUST share.

The main idea I heard at this symposium for our young people was,that  our thoughts create our experiences. There was one young lady who  asked how can she who lives in the inner city, who is confronted with violence at every turn, how can she have peace? How can she not retaliate when that is the world she lives in? The answer was the same. Just because you are surrounded by violence, doesn’t mean you have to be part of the violence.

I read this in a blog last week, well, this is my interpretation:

thoughts + feelings = manifestation.

I will ask parents to try this exercise for the next 40 days and reply to this blog to tell me how it worked out for you.  Consider this a Life Coaching FREE session: Reflect upon an area in your parental life you will like to change (ie: screaming excessively). Decide to think differently about screaming. Feel the feeling you will have when you are no longer in need to scream at your children. What does you not screaming look like to you? How does it feel like? What do you hear?

I can’t wait to hear from each and everyone of you that read this blog.

By the way, I decided that for the next 40 days I will not loose my Peace when it comes to my children! I am not going to get upset when they are listening to POP That Pandora and sing it, I have no clue on what they are saying and  that drives me NUTS! This is day two, so far so good!