Tag Archives: motherhood

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It ALL Begins & Ends in Your Mind!

It ALL Begins & Ends in Your Mind!

One of the most difficult and rewarding jobs we can have during our earth existence is being a parent. That being said, there are no manuals for this GREAT Task.

I submit to you that if we begin parenting with the thought that parenting begins and ends in our minds, we will accomplish more successful encounters with our children.

If you give Power to following thoughts: I am a good parent, I am patient with my children, I am understanding of the life my children lead when they are in school, I am firm but LOVING to my children, I discipline my Children with respect, I LOVE my children. I know these qualities will take over your life once you allow them into your mind.

Think about it, what if you woke up tomorrow with the above thoughts, plus the thought of having a GREAT weekend with your children in-spite of whatever happened tonight!?

Try it!

It all begins and ends in Your mind. What you give Power to, has Power over You, if you allow it!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Parent/Teen Life Coach

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The Four Agreements for Parents

The Four Agreements for Parents

The agreements you are about to read were taken from the book: “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.

There are Four Agreements that parents should follow when it comes to parenting:
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word.
2. Don’t take anything personal.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
4. Always do Your Best.

Be Impeccable with Your word:
I have addressed this issue before in other posts. Children really learn and do what we do, seldom they learn what we say. Being impeccable with your word teaches children to do the same. As parents we must follow through on what we say to our children. If you plan to go some where don’t tell your children until you are 100% sure you can go. If you give your child a consequence you MUST follow the consequence through. That is what teaches your children you mean business. Being impeccable with your word is what teaches children to be impeccable with their word.

Don’t take anything personally:
As a school administrator I have to tell parents this one all the time. When your child does something wrong, something that perhaps brings embarrassment to your family name, please get over yourself. Yes, I get it! I have been there and done that. However, the truth of the matter is that because your child stole candy from the store does not mean that you are a thief, or that your child sees you stealing (ideally your child should NEVER see you doing anything illegal).
Here is an example: I have made my bed everyday for the last 23 years ( that’s how long I have been a Mom). NieCat are aware of my bed making passion. As they were growing up, I always told them to make up their beds. Now at 22 and 18 they NEVER make up their bed. At first I considered myself a failure for not teaching them correctly, however, now following the Four Agreements, I don’t take it personally. Our children are their on persons, they came here to learn their own individual lessons and sometimes those lessons are independent of us.

Don’t Make Assumptions:
You children consider you their Hero. Don’t assume that because you have to give them consequences/punishments they will not like you or think less of you. Don’t assume that because your neighbors children look nice from the outside that they don’t have issues. Stop assuming your parenting skills are not adequate. Stop assuming period! When you assume you make the assumption about you and you MUST remember agreement #1, don’t take things personally.

Always Do Your Best
You can only do what you can do. You are doing the BEST parenting possible with the tools that you have. You are right where you need to be. There is a Higher Forth in your life directing your steps and finally, if you need direction, if you need someone to encourage you, support you and help you to establish parenting goals seek someone like me (shameless plug), seek a Parenting Life Coach. Everyone needs help once in awhile is okay to ask for it.

Think about these Four Agreements as you do your parenting from moment to moment and you will be on your way to parenting success!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur

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Harmonizing Your Thoughts & Feelings can make you a Better Parent!

FREE Life Coaching Session

We as Parents are so involved in our lives that sometimes we loose our perspective. We feel that just because a situation is going a certain way with our children there is no solution, and that is not the case.
There are times that as parents we have to rely on someone on their outside to assist us in seeing things right! Keep in mind that Our minds, and thoughts determine our experiences!
Believe it or Not!
Consider this situation! By the way, I just made up these names as well as the situation itself, though I am quite sure you can see yourself or someone else in this story!
Tina is a single mother with a lot of family support, she has a son named Jaimito who she LOVES very much, however, she finds herself screaming at him ALL the time. After all, that is the type of environment she grew up in!
Tina solicits the assistance of a Life Coach in order to make lasting changes in her life, world and affairs. Here is the summary of her first session: The first thing Tina needs to do is declare what is her objective, her goal. According to Tina, she wants to stop yelling at Jaimito ALL the time. What Tina needs to do now with the support of her Life Coach, is to change her mind about the situation she finds herself in. Her Life Coach will assists her by asking her questions, these questions are geared to assist Tina in understanding why she yells. By listening to the answers to the Life Coach questions, Tina will be able to come to the realization of why she yells. The line of questioning will also allow the Life Coach to come up with a strategy (vision statement) to allow Tina to change her mind set by influencing her conscious and subconscious mind of the need to change her behavior. Tina goes home with a total mind shift and is this mind shift/change, that allows Tina to see things differently. Now when Jaimito does the same actions which triggered Tina to scream, Tina does not have the need to scream! She has changed her mind about her situation, therefore, her situation has changed!
Tina decided to hire a Life Coach as a strategy in order to stay focus on her goal, knowing that her Life Coach will always be there to empower, motivate, support her and hold her accountable for her actions towards her goal.
In continuing sessions Tina will solidify what she learned in her first session.

Coach Arthur

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I Am A Life Coach – Coach Arthur

I Am A Life Coach - Coach Arthur

NieCat for a BETTER You – Mission Statement:
NieCat empowers parents, teens and clients alike to live a BETTER life by supporting, empowering, and motivating them to identify goals and develop plans to continue on their path towards self-improvement and self acceptance.

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Said no child ever!

Said no child ever!

“Consequences are needed in order to create productive adults!”

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Words Have Power!

Words Have Power!

When you read this caption think of your children!

Are you happy with the manner in which you spoke to them today?

Forty-Days of a Peace Youth Symposium

peace-on-earth-islamOn Saturday, My Sorority (Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc.) had the Honor of hosting the 40 days of Peace Youth Symposium. We had over 300 individuals attend and many of them were young people.

We had a panel of experts speak to the young people. We had a pastor/professor/major of a city in Miami,  a Chief of Police for a local community college, a community college professor, a mother who after her child was murdered started  RJT Foundation, Inc.
“Women Supporting Families of Murdered Children” (please check out her website: www.rjtfoundation.com), and a pastor.

I listened as intently as I could possibly listen under the stress of thinking that I myself had to go up on stage at the end and also speak. One thing that I heard said time and time again is what I want to share here. I am sharing it because I heard this message over and over again, last week in different venues so I know I MUST share.

The main idea I heard at this symposium for our young people was,that  our thoughts create our experiences. There was one young lady who  asked how can she who lives in the inner city, who is confronted with violence at every turn, how can she have peace? How can she not retaliate when that is the world she lives in? The answer was the same. Just because you are surrounded by violence, doesn’t mean you have to be part of the violence.

I read this in a blog last week, well, this is my interpretation:

thoughts + feelings = manifestation.

I will ask parents to try this exercise for the next 40 days and reply to this blog to tell me how it worked out for you.  Consider this a Life Coaching FREE session: Reflect upon an area in your parental life you will like to change (ie: screaming excessively). Decide to think differently about screaming. Feel the feeling you will have when you are no longer in need to scream at your children. What does you not screaming look like to you? How does it feel like? What do you hear?

I can’t wait to hear from each and everyone of you that read this blog.

By the way, I decided that for the next 40 days I will not loose my Peace when it comes to my children! I am not going to get upset when they are listening to POP That Pandora and sing it, I have no clue on what they are saying and  that drives me NUTS! This is day two, so far so good!

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There are no manuals for being a Parent!

There are no manuals for being a Parent!

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Can you remember?

Can you remember?

Parents, can you remember what your mother told you when you were 6 years old? Do you remember that she told you that you could not do that! Perhaps your Dad told you that you were too little to play that game, or your sister kept calling you names. and the name calling hurt your feelings. Do you remember how it made you feel?

Now, you are an adult with children of your own. Remember those feelings when you want to tell your child that he/she can’t, or you want to call them a name or without thinking you say something that you can tell made them feel bad.

STOP!

Don’t do it!

Remember, they  won’t forget it!

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It is a cliche but it is true!

It is a cliche but it is true!

Parents, your children learn what they see you do, and what they hear you say to others, not what you tell them to do or to say!
When I have parent conferences I am often amazed how parents are shocked that their children lie! First, they tell me, my son/daughter NEVER lie!m After I reveal my investigation and my witnesses they come to the realization, that their child has lied. Often, they cry, don’t understand how it happened and sometimes, they just think I am the evil one and I have orchestrated this plot to get their child in trouble, because of course I don’t like their child and I have it in for them! This one happens more than I care to discuss.
Here is the thing parents, your children are looking at you very carefully!!! I just can stress this enough! They are watching you, they are listening to you, they are hanging on to your every ACTION. If you are lying to Auntie Ursula about why you didn’t call her, if you are lying to the bill collector about the payment being in the mail, if you are lying to the cashier that you don’t have enough money, if you are lying to the homeless person asking you for money on your way to the mall, guess what? Your baby girl/baby boy is internalizing ALL of that!
Stop lying in front of your children! Period!