Tag Archives: parenting

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Don’t let it be too late!

Don't let it be too late!

We sometimes seem to put our LOVE Ones last on our Priority list, specially Our Children! We do not me to do so, it just happens and time just passes!”

It seems like it was just yesterday that I gave birth in 1994 and just a couple of years ago that it was 1990. Nie will be 23 years old next month and Cat will be 19 years old in December.
Where did the time go?

It is GREAT to hear them reminisce about their experiences growing up. Sometimes I am shocked of their perception of their childhood. What I enjoy most is their accounts of times that we had fun, or that made them laugh!

Here is what I learned from my experience of raising NieCat. Children will tell their growing up story through their eyes. In order to make sure your children’s growing up story is one that you enjoy hearing:
1. Put them first!
2. keep your word!
3. Make a sacrifice, give them your time and your talents because at the end of the day, your children are your legacy.

If you need assistance on how to make time for your children, contact me for a FREE 20 minute Parent Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com.

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 3

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 3

Teenagers now a days look totally different than we did when we were teenagers (I was a teenager in the 80’s). My Father’s worth issues with me was the fact that I wanted to wear mini-skirts to school, I want to an ALL girl school for goodness sake!!!!! My experience as the Mom of a Teenager is totally different, I have to deal with tattoos, piercing, jeans with holes and other issues I never thought of wearing or doing to my body back in the days.

Sometimes our Teenagers bring friends over who are EXTREMELY interesting looking to say the least! As a parent, what you want to do is tell your child, “stop hanging out with that weird looking kid!” However, lesson number 3 teaches a different way of looking at it.

You need to approach every friend your teenage has with an open mind. Talk to them, ask questions, see where their head is. Open your mind and over look the green, purple, blue hear. Ignore the piercing in the eyebrow, nose, lip and the many, many, many tattles ALL over the place. Listen with your heart.

What are you listening for, is the kid well-mannered? Parents are always telling me that the Cat in NieCat is such a well mannered young lady, and inside I smile and I always say “Thank You GOD! It would be sad if a parent didn’t give her a chance because she has a piercing in her nose (be still my heart).

Listen to what your Teenager say about Her/His Friends. Remember, they consider their friends an extension of them. Thread lightly! Don’t be judgmental. Don’t criticize!!!!!!

If your inner self tells you to address an issue of drugs, skipping school, cursing in your house (a Teenager has to be extremely bold to do this), then, you MUST address this issue with your teenager. If you suspect drugs, you will need more than just a Life Coach, you will need therapy and counseling.

Keep in mind:
1. Being Honest and Candid with your Teenager is the way to go.
2. No judgment!
3 .Remember when you were a teenager!
4. Seek outside help if the situation is one you can’t handle and if there are drugs involved in the friendship.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, http://www.niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

“Open Your Mind before You open your mouth!” 🙂

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Kyan’s Kause

Kyan's Kause

There are times in our lives that the experience of others grab you and does not let you go. As I write this I try to hold back my tears because when I think of the experience the Quintana-Cedeno family has endured is TOTALLY overwhelming to my heart! GOD doesn’t give you more than you can stand, and when you go through your life lessons, the BEST thing to do is to grow and become an agent of change. The Quintana-Cedeno family is an Exceptional example on how we can take a life tragedy and turn it into a Blessing to others. Below you have Kyan’s story. I have taken excerpts from his Facebook page and am sharing it with you. I hope that you can share his story with others so that we can save our Babies, our toddlers!

Saving Lives… One Little Swimmer at a Time.
June 9, 2013 marked our hearts forever. God called upon our beloved Kyan to become a little angel in heaven. It is because of this that Kyan’s Kause was created in order to prevent any other tragedies.

As we gather our thoughts for the night, we are so happy that a Facebook goal that we thought would take several weeks, was reached this evening. We wanted to honor our son by reaching 1000 Facebook members for Kyan’s Kause by his 3rd Birthday on June 30th. To our surprise, thanks to you and your love for our little boy, today June 19th, our precious baby’s Kause reached well over 1100 members and growing. Because of you, we continue to spread water safety awareness on behalf of our son. Please continue to fuel our drive to save other children by sharing our site. Throughout the next few days we will be posting Kyan’s Kause progress with its plans to circulate our vision throughout South Florida.

We are celebrating Kyan’s Life on his birthday weekend by bringing awareness to water safety the only way we know how, by having lots of fun. We will be celebrating with water slides, food, music, games, and activities for parents and kids of all ages. There will be plenty of vendors and items on display as we will be fundraising all for Kyan’s Kause. We are asking everyone to bring a new bathing suit for boys/girls in sizes 2-10 as Kyan’s birthday gift to be donated to the S.W.I.M.S. Foundation. We also wanted everyone to wear red as it is Kyan’s favorite color. Please make sure to bring your beach chairs and bathing suits to enjoy the day and celebrate with family and friends for a great Kause. We look forward to seeing all of you with us this weekend at Bridgepoint Preparatory, 12001 Sunset Drive, Miami, Florida 33183

Please support His Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kyans-Kause as well as the foundation, http://www.swimsfoundation.org.

Let’s keep our Babies/Toddlers Safe,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 2

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 2

Last week I took My Daughter, The Cat in NieCat to her Freshman College Orientation. There we were parents and children together. As I looked around, there was one thing “visibly” evident in this orientation. About 90% of these Freshmen were on their cellular devices, including Cat.
When they were talking about financial aid, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked her to put her phone down and I swear she looked like I asked her to go to bed without dinner or walk home from the orientation.

This is the topic of our 2nd Lesson, according to http://www.webmd.com/parenting/teen the actual devices that keep our teens connected are the same devices that keep them away from us – their families. The article actually suggests that taking our teens’ electronic devices can be considered unkind. “Being networked with their friends is critical to most teens,” says Dr. Stuart Goldman, director of psychiatric education at Children’s Hospital in Boston.

As a Teen Life Coach, I agree with the article in the sense that if your teen is doing the right thing, i.e. school (their main responsibility), chores, being respectful, and most importantly not being withdrawn from the family, then, yes, the electronic devices should stay.

However, if your teen is not following through with your expectations, then, I suggest that taking away the cellular device, lap top, games and anything else they consider their life lines is perfectly acceptable.

Suggestions:
1. Have your teen pay for their cellular phone.
2. Phones must be turned off at least an hour before bed time.
3. No computer in the room.
4. Place parents control on the computers and laptops.
5. No phone usage during dinner time or family time.
6. No phone usage during the drive home from school.

The cellular phone is a battle that us teen parents should really not participate in unless is absolutely necessary. Unless of course our rules/regulations/expectations are not being met.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Your Child's Self-Esteem

As an Educator and a Life Coach it really makes me sad to hear parents speaking negatively to their children.
I Truly believe that as Parents we MUST give our children boosts of Self-Esteem on a daily basis.

We are Our Children’s first Cheerleaders. From the moment they are born, our job is to bestow Blessings upon Our Children! We MUST pray for them, pray for their steps to be guided. We MUST make sure we do not crush their dreams. Who are we to talk Our Children out of their dreams? GOD has clothed every dream with everything needed to be brought into fruition, that includes our Children’s dreams; don’t destroy them!

Tell your child:
How Proud you are!
How much you LOVE Her/Him!
How bright you see their future!
Find THREE good things to tell Your Child on a daily basis.
Hug your child at least once a day (I MUST work on this one).
Tell Your child you LOVE Him/Her Daily.
Look at your child eye to eye and smile!
Do not speak angry words. Wait until you feel less upset, then, speak!

It is your responsibility to fill Your Child’s bucket of self-esteem to the brim. If you need assistance generating more ideas on how to raise your child’s self-esteem, email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com.

Happy Parenting
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Child’s Life has Purpose

Your Child's Life has Purpose

When we were growing up, our adult care takers felt that children should be seeing and not heard. Many of us grew up knowing that getting into a conversation when grown ups were talking was a recipe for disaster in our part. Giving our opinion when we were being reprimanded was a serious no-no in our days.

However, now in 2013 we know that allowing our Children to express themselves is part of the norm. Clearly there should be boundaries as our children interact with others as well as ourselves. Your Child should ALWAYS address you with RESPECT! With that said, the bottom line is that our Children have a purpose.

As a Life Coach I recommend my parent clients to find it within themselves to consider a couple of thoughts:

1. Your Child is here for a Reason. Your Child’s Life has a Purpose.

2. Your Child has a story to tell. No matter the situation, even if you know what your course of action is going to be, allow your Child the opportunity to share their story. This will allow you to see how much insight your Child has gained from the particular situation in question. This will also allow you to be able to reflect in the conversation and determine how you can do better handling the situation the next time.

3. Every Child has a dream in their Heart. Listen to their dream and NEVER destroy their idea. GOD has placed dreams within each one of us and the dream is equipped with everything needed to bring it into fruition. Dare to Believe Your Child’s dreams and aspiration for themselves and support them.

4. You Child’s voice matters! Listen! Listen to understand! Choose to understand, and then, to be understood (Steve Covey).

5. Your Child was Born for Greatness! You need to verbalize this Truth to your child as often as Possible. “Your Child was Born to have an IMPACT in this world.

If you want a game plan on how to put these strategies into practice, email me: niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching Session.

Happy Purposeful Parenting,
Coach Arthur, Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Say YES to Your Teenager!

Say YES to Your Teenager!

I read a very interesting article in “One Tough Job.org” which shared guidelines on having a GREAT relationship with your teenager. I found the article very interesting and the strategies are ones that I have actually used during my parent life coaching sessions, so I wanted to share it with my readers.

Out of the gate, I must say that raising teens is an adventure that is manageable if you arm yourself with the proper tools.

It might look like your teen is not interested in what you are doing and specially what you are saying, but the TRUTH of the matter is that our teens need us now more than ever. Yes, they are busy and at this time in their lives their friends mean a lot to them, but remember, you are the parent, you have been there from the beginning of their time. Choosing to spend time with your teen and LISTENING without JUDGMENT is paramount. I don’t know how you feel about what you just read, you may need to take a deep breath because LISTENING & NON JUDGMENT is the key to a POSITIVE relationship with your teen.

There are 4 suggestions the article features to have a more positive relationship with your teen: Be actively interested in your teen’s life, Talk with your teen, not at them, Share things with your teen and Schedule in family time.

Be actively interested in your teen’s life – I heard a strategy that Our First Lady Michelle Obama uses with her girls and I immediately began using this strategy with mine girls. On the ride back from school I asked two questions, Share a rose with me from today’s experience and share a thorn with me from today’s experience. I found that when Cat got in the car, she was ready to share. In about 5 minutes I was able to gauge the type of day she had and she was happy to share. Become the Mom to their group. I was a Drama Mom, a Color Guard Mom, a Super Star Mom, whatever the girls were involved in, there I was in the mix of things. Some of their friends actually called me a cool Mom. I was the Mom giving rides to their friends whose parents were to busy to pick them up from whatever activities they were having. Needless to say NieCat were physically not happy about this, but I knew in their Hearts they appreciated me being there! Well, at least that is how I am telling the story! 🙂

Talk with your teen, not at them – I go back to one of my first blog post ever. Please remember what it was like being a teen! Stop preaching! When ALL you do is preach, your teen will tune you out. Have a discussion! LISTEN! Listen to what your teen says and actually give it some thought! Listen!

Share things with your teen – Share your past experiences. Let your teen know you were a teen once. My Girls use to LOVE to hear that I got in trouble with GrandPaPa! That would be the highlight of our conversations. Share what is going on right now with them. Explain to them why at this time you may not be able to pay for that $500 ring. Tell the TRUTH. They can handle it, and they will know you are Human! Sometimes our teens think we are not from this world!

Schedule in family time – The time you are experiencing now with your teen will NEVER come back! Choose to make time for your teens. Sometimes when I come home from a crazy day as a school administrator I have nothing else to give the world, so I invite the girls to my room (actually they just follow me to my room) and we all lay in my bed and talk. I am resting my body and my brain, I am listening to my Girls and that is considered family time! Visit them in their room, at your own Risk that is! Don’t criticize how junky and smelly their room is (I must work on this one), just be, see where the conversation leads you!

Our teens are enjoying a very challenging stage, as parents we MUST choose to do parenting differently to achieve teen parenting success!

Happy Teen Parenting,
Coach Arthur, Cerfified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Count Your Blessings!

Count Your Blessings!

A lot of us just finished celebrating a very Holy, GOD centered week. Some of us enjoyed our Spring Break and some of us actually had to work. Regardless, of how you spent last week, you always had a choice. You could have chosen to concentrate on your problems or concentrate on how good life is to you. There is ALWAYS something to be Grateful for.

As I enjoyed my Spring Break I wrote a to do list which comprised 19 items. As my Spring Break came to an end, I complained about all the items that I had not accomplished. My moral compass, The Cat in NieCat, told me, Mom, just think of ALL the items in your list that you actually accomplished. Wow! That was a real “AHA” moment for me. Here I was concentrating on my short comings, the items on the list that I did not complete when I should have been praising myself for ALL the items on my list that I did finish. There were more completed items than not.

This week, I am challenging myself to come up with TEN things I am grateful for during my day. This week I shall not count or re-live my problems, imaginary ones and the apparent ones. This week, will be a GRATEFUL week for me.

Would you join me?

I like the phrase:
Don’t tell GOD how big your problems are; tell your problems how BIG Your GOD Is!

Happy Grateful moments,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach

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Our Children Deserve BETTER!

Our Children Deserve BETTER!

I was at Miami Children’s Hospital (I LOVE this hospital) at the Gastro’s office with my First-Born (Nie) and my GrandHon on Wednesday, and I saw something extremely interesting/sad to me.

The office was full of children and parents waiting very patiently. First I noticed that 85% of the children were entertained by some type of electronic device, secondly, I noticed that 10% of them were engrossed on what the Disney channel was showing, and 5% of them were going wild. Here is the interesting part, there was a blond lady on her computer, nothing wrong with that, I was on my iPad the entire THREE hours for the most part, however, she was engrossed in her computer and didn’t realize that her children were going totally crazy, I stared at her to see if I could get her attention and nothing happened. Whatever she was looking at was way more important than her two boys. Then, there was another lady who came in, signed in, and left her son in one part of the doctor’s office and went to sit at another part of the office. That was astonishing to me as the child could not have been more than 5 years old. These boy started wrestling with one of the blond boys and was hurting him. Another lady had to tell him to stop because the little boy was getting super rough! Mind you, neither one of the parents said anything, well one of them couldn’t even see what was happening anyway. I even said out loud, well, if she doesn’t say anything I guess it must be okay, and she still didn’t look up. Now to her defense I did say it in Spanish, maybe she didn’t speak Spanish who knows!

Once they called us in the room, Nie was chasing my GranHon all over the office and she comes back in the room to tell me how the blond lady is now in a room as well with her two boys and on the computer while one of her sons was walking on the ledge of the window!

Come on Parents! We MUST do BETTER than that!!!!!
Children should not have to sacrifice so that we can have the life we want! We have to commit ourselves to our children. Having children and raising them right is a FULL TIME JOB! Period!

If you want to do it right, you have to give up your time! That is truly the ONLY way!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach

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How to become the Parent you want to be:

How to become the Parent you want to be:

There are seven rules to follow to become the parent you want to be:

1. Decide you want to be a BETTER Parent to your children. It ALL begins with a thought!

2. Create boundaries – Your children should understand what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

3. Demand (strong word I know) Respect from your children! You are not your children’s friend, you are the parent. You MUST act like the parent.

4. Make TIME for your children. In order to do this parenting thing effectively, you are going to have to make a decision to be present for/with your children. Live in the MOMENT!

5. Decide in your mind that your Children Come FIRST! Make your Children your # 1 Priority!

6. Listen – Your children have a lot to say!

7. No Judgment – No matter what you hear, do not judge! Share your Wisdom, but allow space to hear the TRUTH!

Happy Parenting
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach