Category Archives: motherhood

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If you want change, You MUST change

If you want change, You MUST change

In my Life Coaching practice I have experienced many parents coming to me asking to help with their teenagers and their attitudes. The first question I ask? How do you react when the attitude begins? The answers to this question are very informative!

As Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, we tend to forget (the reason why we suffer) that we have Power & Dominion over our actions and reactions. I often have to write my clients vision statements reminding them of this very important point.
What does that mean?
That we have control on how we react to situations that are less than ideal with an attitude that can defuse the situation and make things BETTER.

When our teenagers give us attitude (not disrespect), the BEST way to handle it is pointing out the behavior to them, but most importantly, we MUST make sure that our attitude does not compare to theirs. The ONLY way we can teach our teenage children how to BEST handle their emotions, actions and reactions is by keeping our cool and having a handle on our words and deeds when we interact with them. We MUST become the change we want to see in our households!

Happy parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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What are you saying?

What are you saying?

What are you saying to your children?
What type of words are you using when you are speaking to them?

My Dearest Father taught me many lessons in life. there are two very important lessons which helped me parent effectively. The first lesson he taught me was how to speak to my children. I lived with my Dad and my Step-Mother from the time I was 12 years old until the time I left to college at 18. In ALL those years living in Brooklyn, New York I NEVER, EVER heard my Dad say a bad word, NEVER! No matter how angry he was (I really don’t remember My Dad being angry to be honest with you), he never cursed, and he definitely never used bad words when speaking to my step-brother, step-sisters or myself never.

The second lesson I learned from my Dad is NEVER to speak negatively to my children’s dreams. No matter what I told him he never put the idea down and he never criticized the idea. He did have a lot of wisdom and shared the pros and the cons about my ideas, but ultimately I made the decisions.

When we speak to our children, there is no need to use bad words, there is no need to put our children down.

Be kind to your children, remember, The manner in which you are speaking to your children is teaching them a couple of things, they are learning from you how to treat others, how to speak to others, and how worthy they are but most importantly, they are learning from you how to be parents one day!

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Listen to your child speak.

Listen to your child speak.

Being a school administrator gives me a GREAT opportunity to listen to what happens in others’ households.

I am tickled pink to hear children tell exactly what happens at home as I notice the discomfort of parents as they know that what they are hearing is inappropriate but TRUE!

Parents, if you think that what you are doing, saying or the way you are acting in front of your children would make you feel embarrassed if others hear you, or are told the story by your children, then, please, consider not doing it, saying it or acting in that manner.

Your children are learning from you!

Gone are the days that you can say to your child:
“Do as I say and not as I do!”
That command worked on us, but it will not work on our children!

You are your child’s first role model!

Working at being an example,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your “I Am” becomes Your Children’s “I Am”

I believe that what we call ourselves has a direct correlation on what we call our children!”

As an educator for the last 25 years I have come across many children who had very low self-esteem. Once I met their parents I realized that there was a direct correlation on how parents view themselves and how they view their children.

Most parents want more for their children than what they have experienced in their lives. There is however, a vital ingredient that some parents miss. Our children listen to us very carefully; when our children are toddlers they learn to speak by the words we use. What we attach to “I Am” becomes what our children will learn. When we say, I Am sick, I Am broke, I Am tired, those are the beginning of our children’s road map to who they are.

We need to choose differently! We need to add positive words to our “I Am.” We are doing this for our children and for ourselves. I am Victorious, I am Faithful, I am Peaceful, I Am Honest, I Am GOD in action, I am wise with my money, I am happy, I am LOVED, I am appreciated, I am right where I need to be. When our children hear those types of words attached to our I Am, they have no choice than to imitate these words.

When we speak to our children, we MUST never say bad words. Yes, I know life gets in the way and life becomes a challenge, but life is a one day at a time journey, one moment at a time. There is no need to curse at our children. That goes against the reason why they are here. Our children are here so that we can assists them in becoming the BEST they can be. That is our duty.

Do not call your children names! Treat your children as the biblical characters treated their children. We are to Bless our children! We are to Bestowed our GREAT words and ideas upon our children.

Having children is one of the Biggest Blessings GOD has Bestowed upon us. We MUST make sure we raise our children with respect, LOVE and a BIG dose of Self-Esteem.

Parenting is a Blessing,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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I Am a Helicopter Mom & Proud of it!

I Am a Helicopter Mom & Proud of it!

I have been a Helicopter Mom for the last 23 years.
What is a Helicopter Mom You ask?
A Helicopter Mom is a Mom who doesn’t leave their Child’s Life to chance. A Mom who knows what is going on with Her Child and intervenes when ever necessary for the betterment of Her Child.

Last year I was told that as my Baby Girl turned 18 that I had to let go! I did! What do I think of that move? Mistake!!!!!!!!
I am in total disagreement with stopping the Helicopter Mom Life style. I disagree 100% with the fact that the colleges do not allow parents to know anything about Their Child’s college information but MUST write the checks.

Here is my rationale, if We continue being a Helicopter Parent until Our Children graduate college the possibility of them returning home decreases tremendously.

That’s my take on it. What do you think?

Sincerely,
Helicopter Mom
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Don’t let it be too late!

Don't let it be too late!

We sometimes seem to put our LOVE Ones last on our Priority list, specially Our Children! We do not me to do so, it just happens and time just passes!”

It seems like it was just yesterday that I gave birth in 1994 and just a couple of years ago that it was 1990. Nie will be 23 years old next month and Cat will be 19 years old in December.
Where did the time go?

It is GREAT to hear them reminisce about their experiences growing up. Sometimes I am shocked of their perception of their childhood. What I enjoy most is their accounts of times that we had fun, or that made them laugh!

Here is what I learned from my experience of raising NieCat. Children will tell their growing up story through their eyes. In order to make sure your children’s growing up story is one that you enjoy hearing:
1. Put them first!
2. keep your word!
3. Make a sacrifice, give them your time and your talents because at the end of the day, your children are your legacy.

If you need assistance on how to make time for your children, contact me for a FREE 20 minute Parent Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com.

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Teens are people too!

Teens are people too!

Parents, if after reading this sign, you feel as if you have a teenager who feels like this at home, I can help!!!!!

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Helping Navigate the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 4

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 4

Teens live in a state of Drama!

The first blog I wrote I named it “Adults forgetting their teenage years.” I want to refer to this article as we explore the 4th lesson our Teens teach us. Often time we become successful adults and totally forget what we said, did, listened and experience when we were 13 – 19. Please think of those days as you read this lesson.

Many times our Teens come to us to tell us their saga, the first responses we murmur sound something like this: “that is nothing!” “don’t worry about it,” “that is nothing to worry about,” “leave those friends alone.” “you are better than him/her, forget them,” These and other responses we give our Teens really discourage them.

If you remember correctly part of being a Teen is feeling things intensely, in other words what you may seem like no big deal to you is hugely important to your Teen. If you continue disregarding their feelings, they will stop talking to you and that is the one thing you DO NOT want!

I often tell parents who I coach to remember that they MUST listen to their Teens challenges intensely. Remember that they are feeling their feelings, they are honoring their feelings and you MUST do the same. You should feel Blessed that your Teen is sharing with you, please do not destroy this trust!
How would you feel if you called your best friend to say you were loosing your home to foreclosure and your friend dismissed you and told you not to worry, then, your friend proceeds to tell you that your issue is silly and it will go away! How would that make you feel?

When your Teen comes to you with their challenges/problems/drama here are some suggestions:
1.Listen
2. Do not give advice.
3. Do not put their friends down.
4. Do not dismiss or minimize their problem!
5. Listen
6 Sympathize
7. Look at the situation as you were a teenager.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 3

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 3

Teenagers now a days look totally different than we did when we were teenagers (I was a teenager in the 80’s). My Father’s worth issues with me was the fact that I wanted to wear mini-skirts to school, I want to an ALL girl school for goodness sake!!!!! My experience as the Mom of a Teenager is totally different, I have to deal with tattoos, piercing, jeans with holes and other issues I never thought of wearing or doing to my body back in the days.

Sometimes our Teenagers bring friends over who are EXTREMELY interesting looking to say the least! As a parent, what you want to do is tell your child, “stop hanging out with that weird looking kid!” However, lesson number 3 teaches a different way of looking at it.

You need to approach every friend your teenage has with an open mind. Talk to them, ask questions, see where their head is. Open your mind and over look the green, purple, blue hear. Ignore the piercing in the eyebrow, nose, lip and the many, many, many tattles ALL over the place. Listen with your heart.

What are you listening for, is the kid well-mannered? Parents are always telling me that the Cat in NieCat is such a well mannered young lady, and inside I smile and I always say “Thank You GOD! It would be sad if a parent didn’t give her a chance because she has a piercing in her nose (be still my heart).

Listen to what your Teenager say about Her/His Friends. Remember, they consider their friends an extension of them. Thread lightly! Don’t be judgmental. Don’t criticize!!!!!!

If your inner self tells you to address an issue of drugs, skipping school, cursing in your house (a Teenager has to be extremely bold to do this), then, you MUST address this issue with your teenager. If you suspect drugs, you will need more than just a Life Coach, you will need therapy and counseling.

Keep in mind:
1. Being Honest and Candid with your Teenager is the way to go.
2. No judgment!
3 .Remember when you were a teenager!
4. Seek outside help if the situation is one you can’t handle and if there are drugs involved in the friendship.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, http://www.niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

“Open Your Mind before You open your mouth!” 🙂

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Kyan’s Kause

Kyan's Kause

There are times in our lives that the experience of others grab you and does not let you go. As I write this I try to hold back my tears because when I think of the experience the Quintana-Cedeno family has endured is TOTALLY overwhelming to my heart! GOD doesn’t give you more than you can stand, and when you go through your life lessons, the BEST thing to do is to grow and become an agent of change. The Quintana-Cedeno family is an Exceptional example on how we can take a life tragedy and turn it into a Blessing to others. Below you have Kyan’s story. I have taken excerpts from his Facebook page and am sharing it with you. I hope that you can share his story with others so that we can save our Babies, our toddlers!

Saving Lives… One Little Swimmer at a Time.
June 9, 2013 marked our hearts forever. God called upon our beloved Kyan to become a little angel in heaven. It is because of this that Kyan’s Kause was created in order to prevent any other tragedies.

As we gather our thoughts for the night, we are so happy that a Facebook goal that we thought would take several weeks, was reached this evening. We wanted to honor our son by reaching 1000 Facebook members for Kyan’s Kause by his 3rd Birthday on June 30th. To our surprise, thanks to you and your love for our little boy, today June 19th, our precious baby’s Kause reached well over 1100 members and growing. Because of you, we continue to spread water safety awareness on behalf of our son. Please continue to fuel our drive to save other children by sharing our site. Throughout the next few days we will be posting Kyan’s Kause progress with its plans to circulate our vision throughout South Florida.

We are celebrating Kyan’s Life on his birthday weekend by bringing awareness to water safety the only way we know how, by having lots of fun. We will be celebrating with water slides, food, music, games, and activities for parents and kids of all ages. There will be plenty of vendors and items on display as we will be fundraising all for Kyan’s Kause. We are asking everyone to bring a new bathing suit for boys/girls in sizes 2-10 as Kyan’s birthday gift to be donated to the S.W.I.M.S. Foundation. We also wanted everyone to wear red as it is Kyan’s favorite color. Please make sure to bring your beach chairs and bathing suits to enjoy the day and celebrate with family and friends for a great Kause. We look forward to seeing all of you with us this weekend at Bridgepoint Preparatory, 12001 Sunset Drive, Miami, Florida 33183

Please support His Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kyans-Kause as well as the foundation, http://www.swimsfoundation.org.

Let’s keep our Babies/Toddlers Safe,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com