Category Archives: motherhood

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LOVE begins at home!

LOVE begins at home!

How many times have you caught yourself being nicer to strangers than your own family?
As I coach teens one of the main concerns teens have is how they are treated by their parents compared to others.
I often have to remind parents that their teens were once their toddlers. Just because they are now weird and know it all doesn’t mean they do not need our LOVE and attention.
Sometimes is the way we speak to our teens that makes the difference. Our tone can make a difficult situation better or more challenging.
Consider bringing a soft tone to your voice, consider having Lovely thoughts when you call your teen’s name, consider treating you teen as if they were a guest in your home, but most importantly remember what it was to be a teen.

Teens need LOVE too,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
wwww.niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

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Parenting Teens – to be their friend or to be their parent

Parenting Teens -  to be their friend or to be their parent

On Monday, January 6, 2014 I was part of a radio interview in Tallahassee, Florida and Valdosta, Georgia.
I was featured as a Certified Professional Life Coach answering questions about teen parenting, and addressing the question of being a friend to your teens.

Please listen & enjoy!

Click here to listen…

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach

Children MUST have Responsibilities at home!

Children MUST have Responsibilities!

One day before CHRISTmas a lot of us are going crazy shopping and giving our children EVERYTHING they want.

How do I feel about this practice?
I feel parents my age from 40 to 55 tried too hard to please our children, including me. You see, we we wanted to give our children what we did not have, and what we have done is created a generation who feel they deserve everything they want. At first it was cute, but now that our children are becoming young adults we are seeing that perhaps this was not such a good idea.

Our children need responsibilities and they need discipline, and it is not too late. They MUST earn what they receive from us parents just as we earned everything we wanted and needed as we grew up in the 60’s 70’s and 80’s.

I have a lot of clients that do not like me saying this, but the reason why our young adults are the way they are is because of us. If your children are not 18 – 30, and you are having a hard time getting them out of your house, you are still supporting them after they finished college, if you are still giving them allowance, we have no one to blame but ourselves.
The beauty of it is that is not too late!
You can decide in 2014 to allow them to take responsibility for their own lives!
They have to be responsible for the actions and the consequences their actions create!
We MUST stop bailing them out!

Choosing differently,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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If you want change, You MUST change

If you want change, You MUST change

In my Life Coaching practice I have experienced many parents coming to me asking to help with their teenagers and their attitudes. The first question I ask? How do you react when the attitude begins? The answers to this question are very informative!

As Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, we tend to forget (the reason why we suffer) that we have Power & Dominion over our actions and reactions. I often have to write my clients vision statements reminding them of this very important point.
What does that mean?
That we have control on how we react to situations that are less than ideal with an attitude that can defuse the situation and make things BETTER.

When our teenagers give us attitude (not disrespect), the BEST way to handle it is pointing out the behavior to them, but most importantly, we MUST make sure that our attitude does not compare to theirs. The ONLY way we can teach our teenage children how to BEST handle their emotions, actions and reactions is by keeping our cool and having a handle on our words and deeds when we interact with them. We MUST become the change we want to see in our households!

Happy parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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What are you saying?

What are you saying?

What are you saying to your children?
What type of words are you using when you are speaking to them?

My Dearest Father taught me many lessons in life. there are two very important lessons which helped me parent effectively. The first lesson he taught me was how to speak to my children. I lived with my Dad and my Step-Mother from the time I was 12 years old until the time I left to college at 18. In ALL those years living in Brooklyn, New York I NEVER, EVER heard my Dad say a bad word, NEVER! No matter how angry he was (I really don’t remember My Dad being angry to be honest with you), he never cursed, and he definitely never used bad words when speaking to my step-brother, step-sisters or myself never.

The second lesson I learned from my Dad is NEVER to speak negatively to my children’s dreams. No matter what I told him he never put the idea down and he never criticized the idea. He did have a lot of wisdom and shared the pros and the cons about my ideas, but ultimately I made the decisions.

When we speak to our children, there is no need to use bad words, there is no need to put our children down.

Be kind to your children, remember, The manner in which you are speaking to your children is teaching them a couple of things, they are learning from you how to treat others, how to speak to others, and how worthy they are but most importantly, they are learning from you how to be parents one day!

Happy Parenting,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Listen to your child speak.

Listen to your child speak.

Being a school administrator gives me a GREAT opportunity to listen to what happens in others’ households.

I am tickled pink to hear children tell exactly what happens at home as I notice the discomfort of parents as they know that what they are hearing is inappropriate but TRUE!

Parents, if you think that what you are doing, saying or the way you are acting in front of your children would make you feel embarrassed if others hear you, or are told the story by your children, then, please, consider not doing it, saying it or acting in that manner.

Your children are learning from you!

Gone are the days that you can say to your child:
“Do as I say and not as I do!”
That command worked on us, but it will not work on our children!

You are your child’s first role model!

Working at being an example,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your “I Am” becomes Your Children’s “I Am”

I believe that what we call ourselves has a direct correlation on what we call our children!”

As an educator for the last 25 years I have come across many children who had very low self-esteem. Once I met their parents I realized that there was a direct correlation on how parents view themselves and how they view their children.

Most parents want more for their children than what they have experienced in their lives. There is however, a vital ingredient that some parents miss. Our children listen to us very carefully; when our children are toddlers they learn to speak by the words we use. What we attach to “I Am” becomes what our children will learn. When we say, I Am sick, I Am broke, I Am tired, those are the beginning of our children’s road map to who they are.

We need to choose differently! We need to add positive words to our “I Am.” We are doing this for our children and for ourselves. I am Victorious, I am Faithful, I am Peaceful, I Am Honest, I Am GOD in action, I am wise with my money, I am happy, I am LOVED, I am appreciated, I am right where I need to be. When our children hear those types of words attached to our I Am, they have no choice than to imitate these words.

When we speak to our children, we MUST never say bad words. Yes, I know life gets in the way and life becomes a challenge, but life is a one day at a time journey, one moment at a time. There is no need to curse at our children. That goes against the reason why they are here. Our children are here so that we can assists them in becoming the BEST they can be. That is our duty.

Do not call your children names! Treat your children as the biblical characters treated their children. We are to Bless our children! We are to Bestowed our GREAT words and ideas upon our children.

Having children is one of the Biggest Blessings GOD has Bestowed upon us. We MUST make sure we raise our children with respect, LOVE and a BIG dose of Self-Esteem.

Parenting is a Blessing,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com