Category Archives: motherhood

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Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 2

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 2

Last week I took My Daughter, The Cat in NieCat to her Freshman College Orientation. There we were parents and children together. As I looked around, there was one thing “visibly” evident in this orientation. About 90% of these Freshmen were on their cellular devices, including Cat.
When they were talking about financial aid, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked her to put her phone down and I swear she looked like I asked her to go to bed without dinner or walk home from the orientation.

This is the topic of our 2nd Lesson, according to http://www.webmd.com/parenting/teen the actual devices that keep our teens connected are the same devices that keep them away from us – their families. The article actually suggests that taking our teens’ electronic devices can be considered unkind. “Being networked with their friends is critical to most teens,” says Dr. Stuart Goldman, director of psychiatric education at Children’s Hospital in Boston.

As a Teen Life Coach, I agree with the article in the sense that if your teen is doing the right thing, i.e. school (their main responsibility), chores, being respectful, and most importantly not being withdrawn from the family, then, yes, the electronic devices should stay.

However, if your teen is not following through with your expectations, then, I suggest that taking away the cellular device, lap top, games and anything else they consider their life lines is perfectly acceptable.

Suggestions:
1. Have your teen pay for their cellular phone.
2. Phones must be turned off at least an hour before bed time.
3. No computer in the room.
4. Place parents control on the computers and laptops.
5. No phone usage during dinner time or family time.
6. No phone usage during the drive home from school.

The cellular phone is a battle that us teen parents should really not participate in unless is absolutely necessary. Unless of course our rules/regulations/expectations are not being met.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Our Children need Our Time!

Our Children need Our Time!

We are all busy, and our jobs take us away from our families more than we care to share. We MUST make the decision to make our Children Our Priority when it comes to our time.

It is a challenge being a school administrator, a life coach and a Mom/Abuelita (GrandMom). Sometimes when I get home ALL I want to do is lay down and take a nap, however, I know that 1990 and 1994 seem like it was just yesterday and my girls are young women now. This all happened very quickly, but I am grateful that I h ad the Wisdom to make times for My Girls.

We MUST find time to spend with Our Children, what I do? Well, Honestly, it was not my idea, it just so happened this suggestion comes from the fact that My Girls ALWAYS followed me around when I got home. The Girls use to and still do lay in my bed as I am resting. We are talking, and sharing and I am resting! The BEST of both worlds.

Choose to find a way to spend time with Your Children regardless of what your day looks like.
Suggestion:
1. Have a game night.
2. Have a conversation hour while you cook, rest, use the bathroom (this happens to me ALL the time), or do your house chores.
3. Use driving time as sharing time.

The idea is to make your children KNOW that you really care and you will find time for Them!

Happy time sharing,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Your Child's Self-Esteem

As an Educator and a Life Coach it really makes me sad to hear parents speaking negatively to their children.
I Truly believe that as Parents we MUST give our children boosts of Self-Esteem on a daily basis.

We are Our Children’s first Cheerleaders. From the moment they are born, our job is to bestow Blessings upon Our Children! We MUST pray for them, pray for their steps to be guided. We MUST make sure we do not crush their dreams. Who are we to talk Our Children out of their dreams? GOD has clothed every dream with everything needed to be brought into fruition, that includes our Children’s dreams; don’t destroy them!

Tell your child:
How Proud you are!
How much you LOVE Her/Him!
How bright you see their future!
Find THREE good things to tell Your Child on a daily basis.
Hug your child at least once a day (I MUST work on this one).
Tell Your child you LOVE Him/Her Daily.
Look at your child eye to eye and smile!
Do not speak angry words. Wait until you feel less upset, then, speak!

It is your responsibility to fill Your Child’s bucket of self-esteem to the brim. If you need assistance generating more ideas on how to raise your child’s self-esteem, email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching session, niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com.

Happy Parenting
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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The three C’s of Discipline

The three C's of Discipline

According to the Personal Parenting Coaching website, there are three C’s to Discipline.
According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of discipline is: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. As much as we would prefer not to discipline our children, the TRUTH of the matter is that it is our Duty as Parents to Discipline our Children. If we CHOOSE not to Discipline them we are not in compliance with our Duties as parents. Disciplining our Children is not fun, I get it but if you want to have adults that are going to be good citizens and contributors to our Society as a whole Discipline is a MUST!

The personal Parenting Coaching website suggests the three C’s to discipline are:
Be CALM
Be CLEAR
Be CONFIDENT

As challenging as it is, when NieCat do not clean the kitchen after I ask them to do so, and I wake up in the morning with dishes in the sink; Yes, I MUST remain CALM! The idea here is to make sure your Children are well aware that you are NOT pleased about the behavior. Yelling and screaming does not allow you to think about the situation. Staying calm will allow you to think clearly, keep track of what you are thinking and most importantly, watch your words as you are expressing them.

Explain to Your Children why you are not pleased with their behavior. There is no need to attack your Child’s person. You are not pleased with the behavior. Concentrate on the behavior and you will have less to worry about when the entire situation is finished but not forgotten. Use CLEAR words to explain to your Child why the specific behavior was not pleasing to you. Explain CLEARLY what your expectations are and what would the consequences be if the behavior occurs again. Best bet, “keep it simple!”

You are the parent!
GOD Blessed you with this task!
You are the bread Winner!
You are the Boss in Your Home!
You pay the bills!
You make the rules and your rules MUST be followed!
You MUST make these ideas part of your consciousness! Make them into affirmations! This mind set allows you to have confidence in disciplining your Children!

If you want to learn how to discipline your children using the three “C’s,” email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching Session, http://www.niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

Happy Disciplining,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Your Child’s Life has Purpose

Your Child's Life has Purpose

When we were growing up, our adult care takers felt that children should be seeing and not heard. Many of us grew up knowing that getting into a conversation when grown ups were talking was a recipe for disaster in our part. Giving our opinion when we were being reprimanded was a serious no-no in our days.

However, now in 2013 we know that allowing our Children to express themselves is part of the norm. Clearly there should be boundaries as our children interact with others as well as ourselves. Your Child should ALWAYS address you with RESPECT! With that said, the bottom line is that our Children have a purpose.

As a Life Coach I recommend my parent clients to find it within themselves to consider a couple of thoughts:

1. Your Child is here for a Reason. Your Child’s Life has a Purpose.

2. Your Child has a story to tell. No matter the situation, even if you know what your course of action is going to be, allow your Child the opportunity to share their story. This will allow you to see how much insight your Child has gained from the particular situation in question. This will also allow you to be able to reflect in the conversation and determine how you can do better handling the situation the next time.

3. Every Child has a dream in their Heart. Listen to their dream and NEVER destroy their idea. GOD has placed dreams within each one of us and the dream is equipped with everything needed to bring it into fruition. Dare to Believe Your Child’s dreams and aspiration for themselves and support them.

4. You Child’s voice matters! Listen! Listen to understand! Choose to understand, and then, to be understood (Steve Covey).

5. Your Child was Born for Greatness! You need to verbalize this Truth to your child as often as Possible. “Your Child was Born to have an IMPACT in this world.

If you want a game plan on how to put these strategies into practice, email me: niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching Session.

Happy Purposeful Parenting,
Coach Arthur, Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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A letter to Mimi

A letter to Mimi

Sweet smile on MIMIs face as you sleep the pain away,
Resting in God’s arms now, although in the ground your body lay.
He needed another angel in the Heavenly choir and that’s why you had to go.
As you promised, you are still with us watching over US.

I never would have imagined the end would be like this, me comforting you.
Holding your hand, telling you not to worry was not an easy thing for me to do.
And even in your weakest hour you tried to comfort me too, caressing my face, and calming my soul as only a mother can soothe.

You have always been there through the thick and the thin no matter what I’ve done, unconditionally your love never wavering.
When I told you of the mistakes I made and all the times people saw me fall , You simply nodded and gently replied ‘so have we all’.
The key to success is learning from the past; ensuring a brighter future is now the present task.

A pillar of strength even until the end, fighting all life’s battles, knowing it’s triumphantly you would win. Pushing me to be the best that you know I can be, reminding me to keep the faith and allow God to lead me.
Knowing it’s through Christ that I can do all things
And as He never makes a mistake I will come through victoriously.

I miss you more with each and every passing day MIMA, than these words could ever say.
The pain in my heart is from one unimaginable day
After I cried all that I could; my eyes still shed countless more tears, and when I try to sleep, I can’t because all I can think about and continue to ask my self is WHY and HOW COME you didn’t let me know you were about to leave ME!!?

My load feels so heavy I am not sure I will last.

Silly though I may be I am afraid of life now that you’re gone because I’ve always had a mother.
And MIMI, what about my son, brother, dad and lil baby?
I wish you could have stayed just a little while longer, there’s so much left to do. I wonder if I prayed hard enough and if so, maybe you would have stayed longer!

Finding relief in knowing I will see you again someday soon. Remembering all you taught me as my soul continue to grief. I will walk in the footsteps you have walked before me, seeing the path you walked led you, MIMI, straight into victory.

So as you sleep MIMI, in the cradle of the Lord,
I am reassured of GOD’s promises in His Holy Word.
I dream of the day when Heaven’s gates open to receive me and with your smiling face and loving eyes, we will be reunited with open arms you shall receive me with an ever lasting love.

” I love you for Always,

I Love you Forever,

As Long As I’m Living,

My Mimi You’ll BE!!”

Pre-K SPED 3 and 4 Year-old Teacher
Hialeah, Florida

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First Mothers’ Day without Mom!

Mother_s_Day

As I ponder upon the title of this blog, I decided to request the expertise of the BEST Elementary School in the Entire Universe. I have the honor to assist in leading The BEST Teachers and Staff who make their jobs their lives. They impact their students’ life on a daily basis without the thought of their pay checks, their working conditions or how their evaluation will impact their career. They concentrate on the students and give them their all knowing that working without parent participation is sometimes a way of life with us. They put forth maximum effort knowing that not having parent participation can negatively impact their evaluations because without parent participation student achievement is extremely challenging!
I asked my faculty one single question, if you had a friend who lost their mother and this will be the first Mother’s day without their Mom, what would you tell them? The answers were very interesting, sometimes simply sharing from the Heart and their Experiences!
Here are some of the answers I received:

MM
There is no right or wrong way to handle MY Mother’s Day. It is a difficult day for any mother to face without her child or for any child to face without their mother. Some people may find it helpful to go away on a mini-weekend trip, totally avoiding any church services, special meals, or family gatherings that they feel will be too hard to attend. While difficult to experience, allowing yourself to grieve is very important and what has helped me. Do not be afraid to deviate from the norm of tradition and make this a day of new beginnings if this is what you feel is right for you. Some mothers and children find comfort in choosing to do something special in memory of their loved one such as take a walk in a quiet place, read a special poem, or even release a balloon in memory of their mother or child. Many choose to use Mother’s day as a special day to plant a flower or a tree in memory of the person who has died. Seeing something growing is often a visible reminder of the ongoing love a mother and child have for each other. Some prefer to spend time “with their loved ones” by visiting gravesites, bringing flowers, and dedicating time to special memories. (I continue to do this almost every weekend).
Whatever you choose to do, remember not to set expectations too high for the day. Plan something that is healing for you, but realize that you will still experience a wide range of emotions. Grief is exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so be sure to eat nutritious foods for the day, hydrate yourself with lots of fluids, and allow yourself time to rest and be replenished. Grief work is hard work – so acknowledge that and give yourself some extra care and attention.
By planning ahead for Mother’s Day, you will be better able to handle and manage the difficult emotions you are likely to experience on such a day of remembrance. Telling others that this is going to be a difficult day for you is also a good way of building a support system around you. Others can check in on you throughout the day, or provide support and comfort – or maybe just some company throughout the day. Be gentle with yourself; make allowances to do whatever makes you most comfortable on that day. I remember when I cried EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY! But, the minutes began to erase and I began to cry less and less. Now don’t get me wrong, I STILL CRY FOR MY MIMI!! But I can rest assure that GOD is by her side. Remember that while loss may never get easy, it can get easier. You will “get through it” and with that will come inner strength and a reserve of peace and joy!

BR:
It is very difficult as I don’t have my Mom, my friend, my confidant with me for quite some time. How I handle it is by thinking of all the good times, endless hours of conversations we had because like I said she was my confidant and my best friend. Even Mothers’ Day should be every single day of your life. You should honor your mother every day, every hour and every second. Now that she is gone I remember her with my heart full of LOVE and a little bit crumbled. I pray for her every day and ask God to keep her very close to him so she can continue to guide me from above. Mother’s day is a very important day for me.

GM:
When the enemy death strikes, be it your mother, father, or any other relative, your grief can be great, even though you may have hope in the resurrection. Abraham had faith his wife would live again, yet we read that “Abraham came in to bewail Sarah and to weep over her.” (Genesis 23:2) What about Jesus? When Lazarus died, he “groaned in the spirit and became troubled,” and shortly afterward he “gave way to tears.” (John 11:33, 35) So, when someone you love dies, it does not show weakness to cry, since death is our worst enemy.
Yet, because you have confidence in the resurrection, your sorrow will not be unrelenting. As the Bible says, you will “not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) Rather, you will draw close to God in prayer, and the Bible promises that “HE himself will sustain you.”—Psalm 55:22. This hope is like an anchor that will strengthen you during your time of grief.

RN
The only person I know that lost her mother before Mother’s Day is one of our cafeteria monitors; her mother died last night. I lost my mother when I was 9 years old and Mother’s day only became a happy occasion after I had my own daughter. Before my daughter was born I used to split the day going to my grandmothers’ house, 1/2 a day with one and the other 1/2 with the other. At first, I had no feelings but numbness, (I was there but not taking part) later on as time went by, the pain subsided and I joined the family in the celebrations, but more as a duty than a happy time, when I got my first Mother’s Day card and when my husband came with my daughter in his arms and a bunch of flowers, my Mother’s Day took a turn around, I felt happiness. I still remember my Mother but I can think of her as when she was alive, and feel in my heart that she has always been with me.

MS
The Title would be: “Remembering her LOVE, celebrating her life”
I know how it feels!
My Mother passed away on April 21, 2008. Three weeks before Mother’s day. I missed her and wish she was here every day of my life, but at the same time, if I truly believe that she sees me from above, I don’t want her to see me crying and depressed, and ruin my children’s Mother’s Day. So what do I do? I celebrate my Mother’s Life, sing her songs, cook her meals, love the same way she loved!!

XM
I will suggest to go to the cemetery, put a lot of beautiful flowers and be there for a long time talking with her, and let her know that she will be always be with them every day until they see each other again in front of God. Then, I would suggest spending the rest of the day with their children, and together remember the good time.

DH
This is a true experience for me!
When my best friend lost her mother I invited her to our family dinner/gathering every Mother’s Day. She did this for about 5 years until she started her own family. To this day, she reminds me how blessed I am to ‘Still’ have my mom alive and to never take her presence for granted.

MS
I would suggest to my friend to go to church in the morning and say a prayer for Mom and remind them that mom will always be with them in their heart and watching over the family in heaven. I will remind them that mom is in GOD’s hand and has found true Peace and Happiness.

SP
My mother made her transition on October 9, 2000. That day will forever be embedded within my soul. I had to realize that “getting through” was more than engaging in positive thoughts. Getting through also meant I had to pray without ceasing, leaving the results to GOD and releasing myself to be all right with GOD’s way and his timing. Getting through meant that I had to stand still long enough and often enough to know GOD was and is taking care of it all. My responsibility is simply to keep living my life in GOD’s presence. My simple prayers will get ME through my darkest days. Through GOD, through ME, my MOTHER’S spirit will live forever!
And so it is!

MC
I would suggest that on Mother’s Day do something that would honor Mom. For example if Mom loved the beach, celebrate Mother’s Day with a beach picnic to remember all the good times they had with her at the beach. If she was a gardener, plant flowers in their yard that day, so that when they water, prune it, weed it may make you feel closer to mom. If she was committed to social causes work at a soup kitchen, or if church and GOD were a driven force in her life, visit her church to praise her and thank her for being the angel that guides you and protects you daily. I feel that this way you would still be spending Mother’s Day sharing those things important to her.

ST
I would say to that person. I really feel your less. I lost a parent five years ago. Gather with your family members. Talk, share, remember the wonderful, great times you spent together. Celebrate your mother’s memory by preparing her favorite foods.

JH
Mothers are precious gifts from GOD. Mom might be gone in body, but her spirit lives on. Never give up with keeping her in your life, always remember to share with others, the most wonderful and sweetest memories of her. Keep her dear to your heart. Always find solace in the good things. Keep a positive attitude, try to live up to the values and morals that she instilled in you. If you are faithful to the end you will see mom again in the earth made new… so when Mother’s Day comes around, remember, keep mom in your heart, and cherish the many splendid memories you have of her…. And keep her legacy alive!!!

EW
Losing a mother is a difficult experience. As a mother I would want my children to celebrate the years we spent together and through their Christian upbringing they know I am still celebrating that day with them. The price we pay for having a mother is their death.

MR
Today…. Smile and thank GOD for all the special moments you shared with your mother. Strive to be the person she wanted you to be. Imitate those things you LOVED about her and you will be honoring her. You will one day see her again and she will be proud of you!

It was My Pleasures sharing these entries and I hope that these suggestions can lighten someone’s load.

Happy Mothers’ Day,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Our Children Deserve BETTER!

Our Children Deserve BETTER!

I was at Miami Children’s Hospital (I LOVE this hospital) at the Gastro’s office with my First-Born (Nie) and my GrandHon on Wednesday, and I saw something extremely interesting/sad to me.

The office was full of children and parents waiting very patiently. First I noticed that 85% of the children were entertained by some type of electronic device, secondly, I noticed that 10% of them were engrossed on what the Disney channel was showing, and 5% of them were going wild. Here is the interesting part, there was a blond lady on her computer, nothing wrong with that, I was on my iPad the entire THREE hours for the most part, however, she was engrossed in her computer and didn’t realize that her children were going totally crazy, I stared at her to see if I could get her attention and nothing happened. Whatever she was looking at was way more important than her two boys. Then, there was another lady who came in, signed in, and left her son in one part of the doctor’s office and went to sit at another part of the office. That was astonishing to me as the child could not have been more than 5 years old. These boy started wrestling with one of the blond boys and was hurting him. Another lady had to tell him to stop because the little boy was getting super rough! Mind you, neither one of the parents said anything, well one of them couldn’t even see what was happening anyway. I even said out loud, well, if she doesn’t say anything I guess it must be okay, and she still didn’t look up. Now to her defense I did say it in Spanish, maybe she didn’t speak Spanish who knows!

Once they called us in the room, Nie was chasing my GranHon all over the office and she comes back in the room to tell me how the blond lady is now in a room as well with her two boys and on the computer while one of her sons was walking on the ledge of the window!

Come on Parents! We MUST do BETTER than that!!!!!
Children should not have to sacrifice so that we can have the life we want! We have to commit ourselves to our children. Having children and raising them right is a FULL TIME JOB! Period!

If you want to do it right, you have to give up your time! That is truly the ONLY way!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach

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How to become the Parent you want to be:

How to become the Parent you want to be:

There are seven rules to follow to become the parent you want to be:

1. Decide you want to be a BETTER Parent to your children. It ALL begins with a thought!

2. Create boundaries – Your children should understand what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

3. Demand (strong word I know) Respect from your children! You are not your children’s friend, you are the parent. You MUST act like the parent.

4. Make TIME for your children. In order to do this parenting thing effectively, you are going to have to make a decision to be present for/with your children. Live in the MOMENT!

5. Decide in your mind that your Children Come FIRST! Make your Children your # 1 Priority!

6. Listen – Your children have a lot to say!

7. No Judgment – No matter what you hear, do not judge! Share your Wisdom, but allow space to hear the TRUTH!

Happy Parenting
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach

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It ALL Begins & Ends in Your Mind!

It ALL Begins & Ends in Your Mind!

One of the most difficult and rewarding jobs we can have during our earth existence is being a parent. That being said, there are no manuals for this GREAT Task.

I submit to you that if we begin parenting with the thought that parenting begins and ends in our minds, we will accomplish more successful encounters with our children.

If you give Power to following thoughts: I am a good parent, I am patient with my children, I am understanding of the life my children lead when they are in school, I am firm but LOVING to my children, I discipline my Children with respect, I LOVE my children. I know these qualities will take over your life once you allow them into your mind.

Think about it, what if you woke up tomorrow with the above thoughts, plus the thought of having a GREAT weekend with your children in-spite of whatever happened tonight!?

Try it!

It all begins and ends in Your mind. What you give Power to, has Power over You, if you allow it!

Happy Parenting,
Coach Arthur
Parent/Teen Life Coach