Tag Archives: wisdom

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Your Child’s Life has Purpose

Your Child's Life has Purpose

When we were growing up, our adult care takers felt that children should be seeing and not heard. Many of us grew up knowing that getting into a conversation when grown ups were talking was a recipe for disaster in our part. Giving our opinion when we were being reprimanded was a serious no-no in our days.

However, now in 2013 we know that allowing our Children to express themselves is part of the norm. Clearly there should be boundaries as our children interact with others as well as ourselves. Your Child should ALWAYS address you with RESPECT! With that said, the bottom line is that our Children have a purpose.

As a Life Coach I recommend my parent clients to find it within themselves to consider a couple of thoughts:

1. Your Child is here for a Reason. Your Child’s Life has a Purpose.

2. Your Child has a story to tell. No matter the situation, even if you know what your course of action is going to be, allow your Child the opportunity to share their story. This will allow you to see how much insight your Child has gained from the particular situation in question. This will also allow you to be able to reflect in the conversation and determine how you can do better handling the situation the next time.

3. Every Child has a dream in their Heart. Listen to their dream and NEVER destroy their idea. GOD has placed dreams within each one of us and the dream is equipped with everything needed to bring it into fruition. Dare to Believe Your Child’s dreams and aspiration for themselves and support them.

4. You Child’s voice matters! Listen! Listen to understand! Choose to understand, and then, to be understood (Steve Covey).

5. Your Child was Born for Greatness! You need to verbalize this Truth to your child as often as Possible. “Your Child was Born to have an IMPACT in this world.

If you want a game plan on how to put these strategies into practice, email me: niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching Session.

Happy Purposeful Parenting,
Coach Arthur, Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Why not NOW?

Why not NOW?

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, Begin it now.
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
– Raymond Lindquist

Don’t Wait! Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
– Mary Anne Radmacher

You can’t cross the sea merely by
standing and staring at the water.
– Rabindranath Tagore

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
– Jonathan

Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Daily Inspiration – Daily Quote

Manifest it,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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First Mothers’ Day without Mom!

Mother_s_Day

As I ponder upon the title of this blog, I decided to request the expertise of the BEST Elementary School in the Entire Universe. I have the honor to assist in leading The BEST Teachers and Staff who make their jobs their lives. They impact their students’ life on a daily basis without the thought of their pay checks, their working conditions or how their evaluation will impact their career. They concentrate on the students and give them their all knowing that working without parent participation is sometimes a way of life with us. They put forth maximum effort knowing that not having parent participation can negatively impact their evaluations because without parent participation student achievement is extremely challenging!
I asked my faculty one single question, if you had a friend who lost their mother and this will be the first Mother’s day without their Mom, what would you tell them? The answers were very interesting, sometimes simply sharing from the Heart and their Experiences!
Here are some of the answers I received:

MM
There is no right or wrong way to handle MY Mother’s Day. It is a difficult day for any mother to face without her child or for any child to face without their mother. Some people may find it helpful to go away on a mini-weekend trip, totally avoiding any church services, special meals, or family gatherings that they feel will be too hard to attend. While difficult to experience, allowing yourself to grieve is very important and what has helped me. Do not be afraid to deviate from the norm of tradition and make this a day of new beginnings if this is what you feel is right for you. Some mothers and children find comfort in choosing to do something special in memory of their loved one such as take a walk in a quiet place, read a special poem, or even release a balloon in memory of their mother or child. Many choose to use Mother’s day as a special day to plant a flower or a tree in memory of the person who has died. Seeing something growing is often a visible reminder of the ongoing love a mother and child have for each other. Some prefer to spend time “with their loved ones” by visiting gravesites, bringing flowers, and dedicating time to special memories. (I continue to do this almost every weekend).
Whatever you choose to do, remember not to set expectations too high for the day. Plan something that is healing for you, but realize that you will still experience a wide range of emotions. Grief is exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so be sure to eat nutritious foods for the day, hydrate yourself with lots of fluids, and allow yourself time to rest and be replenished. Grief work is hard work – so acknowledge that and give yourself some extra care and attention.
By planning ahead for Mother’s Day, you will be better able to handle and manage the difficult emotions you are likely to experience on such a day of remembrance. Telling others that this is going to be a difficult day for you is also a good way of building a support system around you. Others can check in on you throughout the day, or provide support and comfort – or maybe just some company throughout the day. Be gentle with yourself; make allowances to do whatever makes you most comfortable on that day. I remember when I cried EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY! But, the minutes began to erase and I began to cry less and less. Now don’t get me wrong, I STILL CRY FOR MY MIMI!! But I can rest assure that GOD is by her side. Remember that while loss may never get easy, it can get easier. You will “get through it” and with that will come inner strength and a reserve of peace and joy!

BR:
It is very difficult as I don’t have my Mom, my friend, my confidant with me for quite some time. How I handle it is by thinking of all the good times, endless hours of conversations we had because like I said she was my confidant and my best friend. Even Mothers’ Day should be every single day of your life. You should honor your mother every day, every hour and every second. Now that she is gone I remember her with my heart full of LOVE and a little bit crumbled. I pray for her every day and ask God to keep her very close to him so she can continue to guide me from above. Mother’s day is a very important day for me.

GM:
When the enemy death strikes, be it your mother, father, or any other relative, your grief can be great, even though you may have hope in the resurrection. Abraham had faith his wife would live again, yet we read that “Abraham came in to bewail Sarah and to weep over her.” (Genesis 23:2) What about Jesus? When Lazarus died, he “groaned in the spirit and became troubled,” and shortly afterward he “gave way to tears.” (John 11:33, 35) So, when someone you love dies, it does not show weakness to cry, since death is our worst enemy.
Yet, because you have confidence in the resurrection, your sorrow will not be unrelenting. As the Bible says, you will “not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) Rather, you will draw close to God in prayer, and the Bible promises that “HE himself will sustain you.”—Psalm 55:22. This hope is like an anchor that will strengthen you during your time of grief.

RN
The only person I know that lost her mother before Mother’s Day is one of our cafeteria monitors; her mother died last night. I lost my mother when I was 9 years old and Mother’s day only became a happy occasion after I had my own daughter. Before my daughter was born I used to split the day going to my grandmothers’ house, 1/2 a day with one and the other 1/2 with the other. At first, I had no feelings but numbness, (I was there but not taking part) later on as time went by, the pain subsided and I joined the family in the celebrations, but more as a duty than a happy time, when I got my first Mother’s Day card and when my husband came with my daughter in his arms and a bunch of flowers, my Mother’s Day took a turn around, I felt happiness. I still remember my Mother but I can think of her as when she was alive, and feel in my heart that she has always been with me.

MS
The Title would be: “Remembering her LOVE, celebrating her life”
I know how it feels!
My Mother passed away on April 21, 2008. Three weeks before Mother’s day. I missed her and wish she was here every day of my life, but at the same time, if I truly believe that she sees me from above, I don’t want her to see me crying and depressed, and ruin my children’s Mother’s Day. So what do I do? I celebrate my Mother’s Life, sing her songs, cook her meals, love the same way she loved!!

XM
I will suggest to go to the cemetery, put a lot of beautiful flowers and be there for a long time talking with her, and let her know that she will be always be with them every day until they see each other again in front of God. Then, I would suggest spending the rest of the day with their children, and together remember the good time.

DH
This is a true experience for me!
When my best friend lost her mother I invited her to our family dinner/gathering every Mother’s Day. She did this for about 5 years until she started her own family. To this day, she reminds me how blessed I am to ‘Still’ have my mom alive and to never take her presence for granted.

MS
I would suggest to my friend to go to church in the morning and say a prayer for Mom and remind them that mom will always be with them in their heart and watching over the family in heaven. I will remind them that mom is in GOD’s hand and has found true Peace and Happiness.

SP
My mother made her transition on October 9, 2000. That day will forever be embedded within my soul. I had to realize that “getting through” was more than engaging in positive thoughts. Getting through also meant I had to pray without ceasing, leaving the results to GOD and releasing myself to be all right with GOD’s way and his timing. Getting through meant that I had to stand still long enough and often enough to know GOD was and is taking care of it all. My responsibility is simply to keep living my life in GOD’s presence. My simple prayers will get ME through my darkest days. Through GOD, through ME, my MOTHER’S spirit will live forever!
And so it is!

MC
I would suggest that on Mother’s Day do something that would honor Mom. For example if Mom loved the beach, celebrate Mother’s Day with a beach picnic to remember all the good times they had with her at the beach. If she was a gardener, plant flowers in their yard that day, so that when they water, prune it, weed it may make you feel closer to mom. If she was committed to social causes work at a soup kitchen, or if church and GOD were a driven force in her life, visit her church to praise her and thank her for being the angel that guides you and protects you daily. I feel that this way you would still be spending Mother’s Day sharing those things important to her.

ST
I would say to that person. I really feel your less. I lost a parent five years ago. Gather with your family members. Talk, share, remember the wonderful, great times you spent together. Celebrate your mother’s memory by preparing her favorite foods.

JH
Mothers are precious gifts from GOD. Mom might be gone in body, but her spirit lives on. Never give up with keeping her in your life, always remember to share with others, the most wonderful and sweetest memories of her. Keep her dear to your heart. Always find solace in the good things. Keep a positive attitude, try to live up to the values and morals that she instilled in you. If you are faithful to the end you will see mom again in the earth made new… so when Mother’s Day comes around, remember, keep mom in your heart, and cherish the many splendid memories you have of her…. And keep her legacy alive!!!

EW
Losing a mother is a difficult experience. As a mother I would want my children to celebrate the years we spent together and through their Christian upbringing they know I am still celebrating that day with them. The price we pay for having a mother is their death.

MR
Today…. Smile and thank GOD for all the special moments you shared with your mother. Strive to be the person she wanted you to be. Imitate those things you LOVED about her and you will be honoring her. You will one day see her again and she will be proud of you!

It was My Pleasures sharing these entries and I hope that these suggestions can lighten someone’s load.

Happy Mothers’ Day,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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Gratefulness!

Gratefulness!

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter
everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe
that change forever how we experience life and the world.
– John Milton

Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
– Anonymous

Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
– Betty Smith

Today I offer a prayer of forgiveness:
forgive the pettiness of my ingratitude…
the absence of profound thankfulness.
– Mary Anne Radmacher

Today’s affirmation:
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving –
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With Gratefulness,
Coach Arthur, Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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“Go Ahead, You can do it!!!!

Is Possible!

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Say YES to Your Teenager!

Say YES to Your Teenager!

I read a very interesting article in “One Tough Job.org” which shared guidelines on having a GREAT relationship with your teenager. I found the article very interesting and the strategies are ones that I have actually used during my parent life coaching sessions, so I wanted to share it with my readers.

Out of the gate, I must say that raising teens is an adventure that is manageable if you arm yourself with the proper tools.

It might look like your teen is not interested in what you are doing and specially what you are saying, but the TRUTH of the matter is that our teens need us now more than ever. Yes, they are busy and at this time in their lives their friends mean a lot to them, but remember, you are the parent, you have been there from the beginning of their time. Choosing to spend time with your teen and LISTENING without JUDGMENT is paramount. I don’t know how you feel about what you just read, you may need to take a deep breath because LISTENING & NON JUDGMENT is the key to a POSITIVE relationship with your teen.

There are 4 suggestions the article features to have a more positive relationship with your teen: Be actively interested in your teen’s life, Talk with your teen, not at them, Share things with your teen and Schedule in family time.

Be actively interested in your teen’s life – I heard a strategy that Our First Lady Michelle Obama uses with her girls and I immediately began using this strategy with mine girls. On the ride back from school I asked two questions, Share a rose with me from today’s experience and share a thorn with me from today’s experience. I found that when Cat got in the car, she was ready to share. In about 5 minutes I was able to gauge the type of day she had and she was happy to share. Become the Mom to their group. I was a Drama Mom, a Color Guard Mom, a Super Star Mom, whatever the girls were involved in, there I was in the mix of things. Some of their friends actually called me a cool Mom. I was the Mom giving rides to their friends whose parents were to busy to pick them up from whatever activities they were having. Needless to say NieCat were physically not happy about this, but I knew in their Hearts they appreciated me being there! Well, at least that is how I am telling the story! 🙂

Talk with your teen, not at them – I go back to one of my first blog post ever. Please remember what it was like being a teen! Stop preaching! When ALL you do is preach, your teen will tune you out. Have a discussion! LISTEN! Listen to what your teen says and actually give it some thought! Listen!

Share things with your teen – Share your past experiences. Let your teen know you were a teen once. My Girls use to LOVE to hear that I got in trouble with GrandPaPa! That would be the highlight of our conversations. Share what is going on right now with them. Explain to them why at this time you may not be able to pay for that $500 ring. Tell the TRUTH. They can handle it, and they will know you are Human! Sometimes our teens think we are not from this world!

Schedule in family time – The time you are experiencing now with your teen will NEVER come back! Choose to make time for your teens. Sometimes when I come home from a crazy day as a school administrator I have nothing else to give the world, so I invite the girls to my room (actually they just follow me to my room) and we all lay in my bed and talk. I am resting my body and my brain, I am listening to my Girls and that is considered family time! Visit them in their room, at your own Risk that is! Don’t criticize how junky and smelly their room is (I must work on this one), just be, see where the conversation leads you!

Our teens are enjoying a very challenging stage, as parents we MUST choose to do parenting differently to achieve teen parenting success!

Happy Teen Parenting,
Coach Arthur, Cerfified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

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You are a Master Piece!

You are a Master Piece!

Think of yourself as Masterpiece!
Think of yourself as one of a kind!
Think of yourself as able to do anything and everything that is in front of you to do!

Yes, I know you have done things that are wrong, I know that you sometimes don’t keep your words, I know, I know, I know…….

What if you place ALL the negative thoughts about Yourself aside for the next four hours?
Let’s call it “Positive Self Reflection!
What if you can recollect ONLY the “good things” you have done.
Make a mental list of your accomplishments (stop thinking negatively right now).
See Yourself as a Winner!
Think thoughts about yourself that will make you smile!

Choose to be gentle with yourself!
Choose to celebrate yourself!

Before you think another thought, think highly of yourself. This is the beginning of a GREAT recipe for your lasting self improvement!

Let me know how your 4 hours of positive Self-Reflection make you feel!

Happy Self Thoughts,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com