First Mothers’ Day without Mom!

As I ponder upon the title of this blog, I decided to request the expertise of the BEST Elementary School in the Entire Universe. I have the honor to assist in leading The BEST Teachers and Staff who make their jobs their lives. They impact their students’ life on a daily basis without the thought of their pay checks, their working conditions or how their evaluation will impact their career. They concentrate on the students and give them their all knowing that working without parent participation is sometimes a way of life with us. They put forth maximum effort knowing that not having parent participation can negatively impact their evaluations because without parent participation student achievement is extremely challenging!
I asked my faculty one single question, if you had a friend who lost their mother and this will be the first Mother’s day without their Mom, what would you tell them? The answers were very interesting, sometimes simply sharing from the Heart and their Experiences!
Here are some of the answers I received:

MM
There is no right or wrong way to handle MY Mother’s Day. It is a difficult day for any mother to face without her child or for any child to face without their mother. Some people may find it helpful to go away on a mini-weekend trip, totally avoiding any church services, special meals, or family gatherings that they feel will be too hard to attend. While difficult to experience, allowing yourself to grieve is very important and what has helped me. Do not be afraid to deviate from the norm of tradition and make this a day of new beginnings if this is what you feel is right for you. Some mothers and children find comfort in choosing to do something special in memory of their loved one such as take a walk in a quiet place, read a special poem, or even release a balloon in memory of their mother or child. Many choose to use Mother’s day as a special day to plant a flower or a tree in memory of the person who has died. Seeing something growing is often a visible reminder of the ongoing love a mother and child have for each other. Some prefer to spend time “with their loved ones” by visiting gravesites, bringing flowers, and dedicating time to special memories. (I continue to do this almost every weekend).
Whatever you choose to do, remember not to set expectations too high for the day. Plan something that is healing for you, but realize that you will still experience a wide range of emotions. Grief is exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so be sure to eat nutritious foods for the day, hydrate yourself with lots of fluids, and allow yourself time to rest and be replenished. Grief work is hard work – so acknowledge that and give yourself some extra care and attention.
By planning ahead for Mother’s Day, you will be better able to handle and manage the difficult emotions you are likely to experience on such a day of remembrance. Telling others that this is going to be a difficult day for you is also a good way of building a support system around you. Others can check in on you throughout the day, or provide support and comfort – or maybe just some company throughout the day. Be gentle with yourself; make allowances to do whatever makes you most comfortable on that day. I remember when I cried EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY! But, the minutes began to erase and I began to cry less and less. Now don’t get me wrong, I STILL CRY FOR MY MIMI!! But I can rest assure that GOD is by her side. Remember that while loss may never get easy, it can get easier. You will “get through it” and with that will come inner strength and a reserve of peace and joy!

BR:
It is very difficult as I don’t have my Mom, my friend, my confidant with me for quite some time. How I handle it is by thinking of all the good times, endless hours of conversations we had because like I said she was my confidant and my best friend. Even Mothers’ Day should be every single day of your life. You should honor your mother every day, every hour and every second. Now that she is gone I remember her with my heart full of LOVE and a little bit crumbled. I pray for her every day and ask God to keep her very close to him so she can continue to guide me from above. Mother’s day is a very important day for me.

GM:
When the enemy death strikes, be it your mother, father, or any other relative, your grief can be great, even though you may have hope in the resurrection. Abraham had faith his wife would live again, yet we read that “Abraham came in to bewail Sarah and to weep over her.” (Genesis 23:2) What about Jesus? When Lazarus died, he “groaned in the spirit and became troubled,” and shortly afterward he “gave way to tears.” (John 11:33, 35) So, when someone you love dies, it does not show weakness to cry, since death is our worst enemy.
Yet, because you have confidence in the resurrection, your sorrow will not be unrelenting. As the Bible says, you will “not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) Rather, you will draw close to God in prayer, and the Bible promises that “HE himself will sustain you.”—Psalm 55:22. This hope is like an anchor that will strengthen you during your time of grief.

RN
The only person I know that lost her mother before Mother’s Day is one of our cafeteria monitors; her mother died last night. I lost my mother when I was 9 years old and Mother’s day only became a happy occasion after I had my own daughter. Before my daughter was born I used to split the day going to my grandmothers’ house, 1/2 a day with one and the other 1/2 with the other. At first, I had no feelings but numbness, (I was there but not taking part) later on as time went by, the pain subsided and I joined the family in the celebrations, but more as a duty than a happy time, when I got my first Mother’s Day card and when my husband came with my daughter in his arms and a bunch of flowers, my Mother’s Day took a turn around, I felt happiness. I still remember my Mother but I can think of her as when she was alive, and feel in my heart that she has always been with me.

MS
The Title would be: “Remembering her LOVE, celebrating her life”
I know how it feels!
My Mother passed away on April 21, 2008. Three weeks before Mother’s day. I missed her and wish she was here every day of my life, but at the same time, if I truly believe that she sees me from above, I don’t want her to see me crying and depressed, and ruin my children’s Mother’s Day. So what do I do? I celebrate my Mother’s Life, sing her songs, cook her meals, love the same way she loved!!

XM
I will suggest to go to the cemetery, put a lot of beautiful flowers and be there for a long time talking with her, and let her know that she will be always be with them every day until they see each other again in front of God. Then, I would suggest spending the rest of the day with their children, and together remember the good time.

DH
This is a true experience for me!
When my best friend lost her mother I invited her to our family dinner/gathering every Mother’s Day. She did this for about 5 years until she started her own family. To this day, she reminds me how blessed I am to ‘Still’ have my mom alive and to never take her presence for granted.

MS
I would suggest to my friend to go to church in the morning and say a prayer for Mom and remind them that mom will always be with them in their heart and watching over the family in heaven. I will remind them that mom is in GOD’s hand and has found true Peace and Happiness.

SP
My mother made her transition on October 9, 2000. That day will forever be embedded within my soul. I had to realize that “getting through” was more than engaging in positive thoughts. Getting through also meant I had to pray without ceasing, leaving the results to GOD and releasing myself to be all right with GOD’s way and his timing. Getting through meant that I had to stand still long enough and often enough to know GOD was and is taking care of it all. My responsibility is simply to keep living my life in GOD’s presence. My simple prayers will get ME through my darkest days. Through GOD, through ME, my MOTHER’S spirit will live forever!
And so it is!

MC
I would suggest that on Mother’s Day do something that would honor Mom. For example if Mom loved the beach, celebrate Mother’s Day with a beach picnic to remember all the good times they had with her at the beach. If she was a gardener, plant flowers in their yard that day, so that when they water, prune it, weed it may make you feel closer to mom. If she was committed to social causes work at a soup kitchen, or if church and GOD were a driven force in her life, visit her church to praise her and thank her for being the angel that guides you and protects you daily. I feel that this way you would still be spending Mother’s Day sharing those things important to her.

ST
I would say to that person. I really feel your less. I lost a parent five years ago. Gather with your family members. Talk, share, remember the wonderful, great times you spent together. Celebrate your mother’s memory by preparing her favorite foods.

JH
Mothers are precious gifts from GOD. Mom might be gone in body, but her spirit lives on. Never give up with keeping her in your life, always remember to share with others, the most wonderful and sweetest memories of her. Keep her dear to your heart. Always find solace in the good things. Keep a positive attitude, try to live up to the values and morals that she instilled in you. If you are faithful to the end you will see mom again in the earth made new… so when Mother’s Day comes around, remember, keep mom in your heart, and cherish the many splendid memories you have of her…. And keep her legacy alive!!!

EW
Losing a mother is a difficult experience. As a mother I would want my children to celebrate the years we spent together and through their Christian upbringing they know I am still celebrating that day with them. The price we pay for having a mother is their death.

MR
Today…. Smile and thank GOD for all the special moments you shared with your mother. Strive to be the person she wanted you to be. Imitate those things you LOVED about her and you will be honoring her. You will one day see her again and she will be proud of you!

It was My Pleasures sharing these entries and I hope that these suggestions can lighten someone’s load.

Happy Mothers’ Day,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com