On Saturday, My Sorority (Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc.) had the Honor of hosting the 40 days of Peace Youth Symposium. We had over 300 individuals attend and many of them were young people.
We had a panel of experts speak to the young people. We had a pastor/professor/major of a city in Miami, a Chief of Police for a local community college, a community college professor, a mother who after her child was murdered started RJT Foundation, Inc.
“Women Supporting Families of Murdered Children” (please check out her website: www.rjtfoundation.com), and a pastor.
I listened as intently as I could possibly listen under the stress of thinking that I myself had to go up on stage at the end and also speak. One thing that I heard said time and time again is what I want to share here. I am sharing it because I heard this message over and over again, last week in different venues so I know I MUST share.
The main idea I heard at this symposium for our young people was,that our thoughts create our experiences. There was one young lady who asked how can she who lives in the inner city, who is confronted with violence at every turn, how can she have peace? How can she not retaliate when that is the world she lives in? The answer was the same. Just because you are surrounded by violence, doesn’t mean you have to be part of the violence.
I read this in a blog last week, well, this is my interpretation:
thoughts + feelings = manifestation.
I will ask parents to try this exercise for the next 40 days and reply to this blog to tell me how it worked out for you. Consider this a Life Coaching FREE session: Reflect upon an area in your parental life you will like to change (ie: screaming excessively). Decide to think differently about screaming. Feel the feeling you will have when you are no longer in need to scream at your children. What does you not screaming look like to you? How does it feel like? What do you hear?
I can’t wait to hear from each and everyone of you that read this blog.
By the way, I decided that for the next 40 days I will not loose my Peace when it comes to my children! I am not going to get upset when they are listening to POP That Pandora and sing it, I have no clue on what they are saying and that drives me NUTS! This is day two, so far so good!
Posted in Children, Coaching, Father, Life, Life Coaching, mother, motherhood, Parenting, Truth
Tagged children, fatherhood, Life, Life Coach, Lifestyle, mother, motherhood, parenting, parents, rules, Teenagers, thinking, Thoughts, truth
Parents: This is how we create productive adults!
January 6, 2013 in Children, Coaching, Father, Life, Life Coaching, mother, motherhood, Parenting, Teenagers, Truth
Tagged children, common sense, father, fatherhood, Life, Lifestyle, mother, motherhood, parents, Teenagers
My youngest daughter (she is the Cat in NieCat) shared a story with me last week that shocked me. She showed me a teenage girl who was very upset with her parents. You see her parents had given her a car. Her issue? the car they gave her was not the car she wanted. Here is the shocker, her parents purchased a LEXUS for her, her gratitude statement towards her parents was: “that is not even the car I wanted!” Well, I guess when Cat shared this story with me, she knew what I was going to say. How did this teenager become so ungrateful? Your parents buy you a car, a LEXUS no less, and the first thing that comes out of your mouth are words of dissatisfaction!!!!!! How does that happen? She was not born being ungrateful, something in her up bringing empowered her to feel as she does.
Here is the lesson for today. When we give our children things without reason or without them earning them, it gives our children a sense of entitlement. That may be cute at first when they are babies and toddlers but as they become teenagers, this will be a serious challenge that the parents are going to have to deal with!
Children MUST earn their keep, said a very wise man who raised 5 children in a Brooklyn apartment in Coney Island! This Great man (My Dad) made sure these children earned everything they had, and I do mean everything. To get allowance we had to do work around the house. I had to iron his shirts and we took turns doing everyone’s laundry downstairs in the laundromat. When we received good grades we got paid for them. We had a contract that specified exactly what our responsibilities were, our rewards as well as our consequences. Earning an A got you the BIG $$$, earning a B was also a good thing, a C earned you about a dollar and there was no way you could have brought a D or an F to 11H (that was the apartment number). The 5 of us are now grown and we all have children of our own. Believe it or not, for some of us, our children have children of their own.
I don’t know about my siblings but NieCat (my girls), understand that if they want something out of me they have to earn it. You have to earn your keep! Even my GrandHon (11 months) is learning that if she wants me to pick her up, she has to crawl towards me. Why you ask? They are only children you say! Why do you have to be so tough? You mention. Well, let us please remember that in this world, you have to earn your keep. You can’t get something for nothing, well, you can but it will probably not turn out good at the end. I wanted my girls to understand that hard work pays off. No one is going to give them a hand out! They must work, and the first job they had was keeping their room clean, that didn’t work very well, but at least they understood that in order to have privileges their room had to pass inspection! Those were the good all days!
Parents, please consider not giving your children EVERYTHING they want. Set goals, and once they achieve those goals, then, they can be rewarded with things.
Why is it that us adults forget what it was like to be a teenager?
Can we adults take the time to remember how we felt, what we did, what we said and apply what we know now (wisdom) to those situations our teenagers are experiencing?
We have the power to guide our teenagers into navigating their teenager years using our Wisdom as well as remembering our teenage years.
Teenage memories + Living Wisdom = Successful Teenage Parenting
Posted in Children, Coaching, Father, Life, Life Coaching, mother, motherhood, Parenting, Teenagers, Truth
Tagged fatherhood, Life, Life Coach, motherhood, parenting, Teenagers