Category Archives: Parenting

Image

LOVE begins at home!

LOVE begins at home!

How many times have you caught yourself being nicer to strangers than your own family?
As I coach teens one of the main concerns teens have is how they are treated by their parents compared to others.
I often have to remind parents that their teens were once their toddlers. Just because they are now weird and know it all doesn’t mean they do not need our LOVE and attention.
Sometimes is the way we speak to our teens that makes the difference. Our tone can make a difficult situation better or more challenging.
Consider bringing a soft tone to your voice, consider having Lovely thoughts when you call your teen’s name, consider treating you teen as if they were a guest in your home, but most importantly remember what it was to be a teen.

Teens need LOVE too,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
wwww.niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

Children MUST have Responsibilities at home!

Children MUST have Responsibilities!

One day before CHRISTmas a lot of us are going crazy shopping and giving our children EVERYTHING they want.

How do I feel about this practice?
I feel parents my age from 40 to 55 tried too hard to please our children, including me. You see, we we wanted to give our children what we did not have, and what we have done is created a generation who feel they deserve everything they want. At first it was cute, but now that our children are becoming young adults we are seeing that perhaps this was not such a good idea.

Our children need responsibilities and they need discipline, and it is not too late. They MUST earn what they receive from us parents just as we earned everything we wanted and needed as we grew up in the 60’s 70’s and 80’s.

I have a lot of clients that do not like me saying this, but the reason why our young adults are the way they are is because of us. If your children are not 18 – 30, and you are having a hard time getting them out of your house, you are still supporting them after they finished college, if you are still giving them allowance, we have no one to blame but ourselves.
The beauty of it is that is not too late!
You can decide in 2014 to allow them to take responsibility for their own lives!
They have to be responsible for the actions and the consequences their actions create!
We MUST stop bailing them out!

Choosing differently,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

Image

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 4

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 4

Teens live in a state of Drama!

The first blog I wrote I named it “Adults forgetting their teenage years.” I want to refer to this article as we explore the 4th lesson our Teens teach us. Often time we become successful adults and totally forget what we said, did, listened and experience when we were 13 – 19. Please think of those days as you read this lesson.

Many times our Teens come to us to tell us their saga, the first responses we murmur sound something like this: “that is nothing!” “don’t worry about it,” “that is nothing to worry about,” “leave those friends alone.” “you are better than him/her, forget them,” These and other responses we give our Teens really discourage them.

If you remember correctly part of being a Teen is feeling things intensely, in other words what you may seem like no big deal to you is hugely important to your Teen. If you continue disregarding their feelings, they will stop talking to you and that is the one thing you DO NOT want!

I often tell parents who I coach to remember that they MUST listen to their Teens challenges intensely. Remember that they are feeling their feelings, they are honoring their feelings and you MUST do the same. You should feel Blessed that your Teen is sharing with you, please do not destroy this trust!
How would you feel if you called your best friend to say you were loosing your home to foreclosure and your friend dismissed you and told you not to worry, then, your friend proceeds to tell you that your issue is silly and it will go away! How would that make you feel?

When your Teen comes to you with their challenges/problems/drama here are some suggestions:
1.Listen
2. Do not give advice.
3. Do not put their friends down.
4. Do not dismiss or minimize their problem!
5. Listen
6 Sympathize
7. Look at the situation as you were a teenager.

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

Image

Kyan’s Kause

Kyan's Kause

There are times in our lives that the experience of others grab you and does not let you go. As I write this I try to hold back my tears because when I think of the experience the Quintana-Cedeno family has endured is TOTALLY overwhelming to my heart! GOD doesn’t give you more than you can stand, and when you go through your life lessons, the BEST thing to do is to grow and become an agent of change. The Quintana-Cedeno family is an Exceptional example on how we can take a life tragedy and turn it into a Blessing to others. Below you have Kyan’s story. I have taken excerpts from his Facebook page and am sharing it with you. I hope that you can share his story with others so that we can save our Babies, our toddlers!

Saving Lives… One Little Swimmer at a Time.
June 9, 2013 marked our hearts forever. God called upon our beloved Kyan to become a little angel in heaven. It is because of this that Kyan’s Kause was created in order to prevent any other tragedies.

As we gather our thoughts for the night, we are so happy that a Facebook goal that we thought would take several weeks, was reached this evening. We wanted to honor our son by reaching 1000 Facebook members for Kyan’s Kause by his 3rd Birthday on June 30th. To our surprise, thanks to you and your love for our little boy, today June 19th, our precious baby’s Kause reached well over 1100 members and growing. Because of you, we continue to spread water safety awareness on behalf of our son. Please continue to fuel our drive to save other children by sharing our site. Throughout the next few days we will be posting Kyan’s Kause progress with its plans to circulate our vision throughout South Florida.

We are celebrating Kyan’s Life on his birthday weekend by bringing awareness to water safety the only way we know how, by having lots of fun. We will be celebrating with water slides, food, music, games, and activities for parents and kids of all ages. There will be plenty of vendors and items on display as we will be fundraising all for Kyan’s Kause. We are asking everyone to bring a new bathing suit for boys/girls in sizes 2-10 as Kyan’s birthday gift to be donated to the S.W.I.M.S. Foundation. We also wanted everyone to wear red as it is Kyan’s favorite color. Please make sure to bring your beach chairs and bathing suits to enjoy the day and celebrate with family and friends for a great Kause. We look forward to seeing all of you with us this weekend at Bridgepoint Preparatory, 12001 Sunset Drive, Miami, Florida 33183

Please support His Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kyans-Kause as well as the foundation, http://www.swimsfoundation.org.

Let’s keep our Babies/Toddlers Safe,
Coach Arthur
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

Image

Our Children need Our Time!

Our Children need Our Time!

We are all busy, and our jobs take us away from our families more than we care to share. We MUST make the decision to make our Children Our Priority when it comes to our time.

It is a challenge being a school administrator, a life coach and a Mom/Abuelita (GrandMom). Sometimes when I get home ALL I want to do is lay down and take a nap, however, I know that 1990 and 1994 seem like it was just yesterday and my girls are young women now. This all happened very quickly, but I am grateful that I h ad the Wisdom to make times for My Girls.

We MUST find time to spend with Our Children, what I do? Well, Honestly, it was not my idea, it just so happened this suggestion comes from the fact that My Girls ALWAYS followed me around when I got home. The Girls use to and still do lay in my bed as I am resting. We are talking, and sharing and I am resting! The BEST of both worlds.

Choose to find a way to spend time with Your Children regardless of what your day looks like.
Suggestion:
1. Have a game night.
2. Have a conversation hour while you cook, rest, use the bathroom (this happens to me ALL the time), or do your house chores.
3. Use driving time as sharing time.

The idea is to make your children KNOW that you really care and you will find time for Them!

Happy time sharing,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

Image

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life: Lesson # 1

Your Teenager Is Here to Teach You Lessons in Life

For those of us who have experienced teen years and have survived, we must be honest and say that having a teenagers is no walk in the park. As a matter of fact, Dr. Stuart Goldman, director of psychiatric education at Children’s Hospital in Boston says, “Adolescence is a time of rapid change for kids both physically and cognitively,” he explains. “It’s the task of the teenager to fire their parents and then re-hire them years later, but as consultants rather than managers.”

All Teenage parents MUST come to terms with the fact that your relationship with your teen will not be the same as it was pre-teen years. All of a sudden, you as a parent will know nothing, your word will mean nothing and friends will come to be the BEST advisors in the world. One of your teenager’s job is to have conflict with you! With that being said there are a couple of rules that MUST be put in place to navigate this time that has the ingredients of potentially becoming a challenging time.

Remember the time when your child wanted you to come along on the field trips and the class parties? Well, as teens, those times will be no more. Internally, your teen knows they need you however, they can’t seem to understand what they are feeling.
That is when you have to be the BIGGER person, and show LOVE!
Be there for your Teen.
Whenever they are ready to talk, you have to be there.
You can’t act as they do or this will make matters worse.
This type of behavior will begin getting better by 16 or 17.
You MuST be patient, and supportive!
Your teen will come to you when ready, and your job is to be there with open arms.
Whenever your teen wants to talk, you must be there with no-judgment! Challenging, but doable!

Having a teen that is mean or says bad words to you or tells you she/he hates you is another ball of wax!
Other professionals will tell you to handle this with tolerance, however, I take another approach!
You are the PARENT!
You are the ruler of your house!
You MUST be very stern in handling this behavior!
It MUST be understood that this is not acceptable in your home!!!!!
Your child can’t curse at you!
Your Child can’t scream at you!
This is unacceptable behavior and MUST be stopped!
Saying bad words in front of you is something that you can’t tolerate!
RESPECT MUST be evident at ALL times!
This means that you also have to respect your Teen!

If you need guidance in traveling the teenage world, don’t hesitate to email me, niecatlifecoaching@yahoo.com for a FREE 30 minute Parent Life Coaching session.

Happy Navigating the teen world,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

Image

The three C’s of Discipline

The three C's of Discipline

According to the Personal Parenting Coaching website, there are three C’s to Discipline.
According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of discipline is: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. As much as we would prefer not to discipline our children, the TRUTH of the matter is that it is our Duty as Parents to Discipline our Children. If we CHOOSE not to Discipline them we are not in compliance with our Duties as parents. Disciplining our Children is not fun, I get it but if you want to have adults that are going to be good citizens and contributors to our Society as a whole Discipline is a MUST!

The personal Parenting Coaching website suggests the three C’s to discipline are:
Be CALM
Be CLEAR
Be CONFIDENT

As challenging as it is, when NieCat do not clean the kitchen after I ask them to do so, and I wake up in the morning with dishes in the sink; Yes, I MUST remain CALM! The idea here is to make sure your Children are well aware that you are NOT pleased about the behavior. Yelling and screaming does not allow you to think about the situation. Staying calm will allow you to think clearly, keep track of what you are thinking and most importantly, watch your words as you are expressing them.

Explain to Your Children why you are not pleased with their behavior. There is no need to attack your Child’s person. You are not pleased with the behavior. Concentrate on the behavior and you will have less to worry about when the entire situation is finished but not forgotten. Use CLEAR words to explain to your Child why the specific behavior was not pleasing to you. Explain CLEARLY what your expectations are and what would the consequences be if the behavior occurs again. Best bet, “keep it simple!”

You are the parent!
GOD Blessed you with this task!
You are the bread Winner!
You are the Boss in Your Home!
You pay the bills!
You make the rules and your rules MUST be followed!
You MUST make these ideas part of your consciousness! Make them into affirmations! This mind set allows you to have confidence in disciplining your Children!

If you want to learn how to discipline your children using the three “C’s,” email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching Session, http://www.niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

Happy Disciplining,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com

Image

Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is that like begets like.
Your dominant thoughts and words, whether
positive or negative, will attract corresponding
experiences into your life. So be careful!
Do not allow your thoughts and words to dwell in
places you would rather not go.

Another way of stating the Law of Attraction is:
“As within, so without.”
Renowned New Thought teacher Emmett Fox said
that is it impossible to draw from the spiritual realm anything for which we have not first established a
mental equivalent.

If you don’t want to spill coffee on your new blouse or tie, for example, don’t spend all morning thinking or saying, “I hope I don’t spill…..”
Focus instead on something you do want.
But never desire something that belongs to someone else.
Want ONLY what is yours by right of consciousness. It will prove much more gratifying in the end.

“And thou shalt overlay it with pure gold,
within and without….
Exodus 25:11

Daily Inspiration for a Better Living
May, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013, page 29
A Publication of The Universal Foundation for Better Living, Inc.

If you want to learn how to apply the Law of Attraction in your life, world and affairs, email me for a FREE 20 minute Life Coaching Session, http://www.niecatlifecoach@yahoo.com

Happy Attracting,
Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoach.com

Image

“Go Ahead, You can do it!!!!

Is Possible!

Image

You are a Master Piece!

You are a Master Piece!

Think of yourself as Masterpiece!
Think of yourself as one of a kind!
Think of yourself as able to do anything and everything that is in front of you to do!

Yes, I know you have done things that are wrong, I know that you sometimes don’t keep your words, I know, I know, I know…….

What if you place ALL the negative thoughts about Yourself aside for the next four hours?
Let’s call it “Positive Self Reflection!
What if you can recollect ONLY the “good things” you have done.
Make a mental list of your accomplishments (stop thinking negatively right now).
See Yourself as a Winner!
Think thoughts about yourself that will make you smile!

Choose to be gentle with yourself!
Choose to celebrate yourself!

Before you think another thought, think highly of yourself. This is the beginning of a GREAT recipe for your lasting self improvement!

Let me know how your 4 hours of positive Self-Reflection make you feel!

Happy Self Thoughts,

Coach Arthur
Certified Professional Life Coach
http://www.niecatlifecoaching.com